


Now for something a bit weird

by Micrindle



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comics), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer References, Doctor Who References, F/F, F/M, M/M, The Year That Never Was (Doctor Who), Torchwood References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2019-10-06 14:17:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17346743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Micrindle/pseuds/Micrindle
Summary: As per usual, Buffy is thrown back in time... but this time from a place we never imagined.Angel and The Master team up and bring down the walls of reality..This is a crossover between BtVS and Torchwood if you hadn't guessed already :)





	1. Prologue/ Chapter One

“Seems you've begun to question the nature of your reality.”- Dolores to The Man in Black, Westworld, S02 E10, The Passenger, 2018.

Buffy stumbled.  
She hurt places she hadn't been hurt a few seconds ago.   
What the hell?   
She stopped and took stock of her situation. Looking around there were no dragons or beasts from hell or tiny childlike psychopathic robot balls pouring through a tear in dimensions on the battlefield that had formerly been called Los Angeles.   
Where was she?  
She took a deep breath. It smelled familiar. She couldn't quite place it though. She was standing in a graveyard like she always used to but it could have been anywhere, England, Rome, Cleveland... Australia that one time. Who even has an invasion of demonic toads anyway? 

Except it definitely wasn't Rome because Buffy didn't think that- she squinted- David Greenwalt sounded Italian enough to be buried in a Roman graveyard. She looked at the next one. Marti Noxon. Nup definitely not in Rome way too American-y. How did she get here exactly? She wandered a little bit further. All the headstones seemed really familiar, which was way wiggy, the answer was right on the tip of her brain.. er tongue. She stopped mid stride, because there is no way she had just seen what she thought she had just seen.

Oh no. No way, no how. 

The name on the grave marker took her breath away. 

William ‘Billy’ Fordham   
1980-1997  
Taken before his time.

She slumped to her knees. “Am I dead? Where am I? What the hell is going on?”

A familiar tingle prickled through her entire being. It started at the base of her skull, bloomed out over the top of her scalp, surged down her spine, melted over her face, her chest, it rushed down her arms and expanded into her lungs, it quivered through her belly and pooled between her thighs. If she hadn't already been on her knees she would have fallen. 

Legs. They weren't working. Damn it!  
She scrambled at the dirt trying to get up. Finally upright, she turned to face the vampire she never thought she was going to see again.

“Spike”

Her voice rasped so badly it barely even sounded like hers.  
He looked conflicted, eyes flicking between her and Ford's grave. He swallowed and Buffy watched the muscles in his throat swell and contract, his adam's apple bob and his jaw tick as he tried to come up with something non incendiary to say.  
“What are you doin’ out here with us nightcrawlers relivin’ old nasties for luv?”  
“Spike” she said again. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears and she said his name like a prayer.  
“Are you real?” she whispered.  
His brow furrowed. “As I ever was.” he said uncertainly, taking a step towards her. If the slayer wasn't sure what was real it was time to get her out of the cemetery. Buffy looked down at her hands, her fingers where raw and she was missing a couple of fingernails. She was pretty sure she still had a few wood splinters in her knuckles.  
“Spike.” she said again, swallowing down the urge to vomit. Her voice was more clear this time but with a definite edge of fear. “When are we?” he frowned and moved closer, hovering his hand near her shoulder like he wasn't sure if he should touch her. “When do you think you are, love?” she stepped towards him and rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him underneath his duster. Her hot tears burned down his chest, soaking through his t-shirt, with sobs that made his heart clench. “I-it's-I think..” she hiccuped “It was 2-2009. But it c-can't be. This is S-s-sunnydale and Sunnydale is g-gone.” Her arms tightened around him so hard he felt his ribs protest. “Love, what's the last thing you remember before finding yourself here?” she nuzzled her face in his shirt and lent back a little so she could look at him. “You're really here aren't you? Are you my Spike yet?” her voice was so small and so broken. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. “Always been yours love,” He kissed her gently on the forehead “jus’ took me a little time to realize is all.” She shuddered against him, pressed her face hard into his chest and took a deep Spike-scented breath. 

“Angel and The Master started a war.”

 

Chapter One  
Hell is empty  
And all the devils are here- The Tempest, William Shakespeare, 1623.

Spike had tried to take her back to Revello Drive but Buffy had refused. Dark Willow might be there messing with everyone's minds and hers was already messed up enough. She couldn't fight magic and even if she could she still had to figure out exactly when she was so she could figure out what she had to do next.  
Spike paced anxiously in front of the ratty armchair she had been deposited in after he had relented and taken her back to his crypt.

“When is this?” Buffy thought for a few moments and, seeing as how Spike was still pacing angrily and unlikely to stop anytime soon, got up to slide back the hatch to Spike's downstairs. It was intact. “Riley hasn't come looking for his demony eggs yet then.” she slid the trap door closed and surveilled the room. Her mangled hands seemed to indicate that she was at the most two weeks above ground.

“What the bloody fuck was Angelus doing starting a war along with old bat face?” Spike suddenly exploded.

“Nest is dust,” Buffy said distractedly seeing if she could get a splinter out of her knuckle “The Master is an immortal alien attempting to start a war with the rest of the universe. How come you didn't even question it when I said I was from the future?” he shrugged, unconcerned “Hellmouth pet, ‘n could tell you weren't lyin’. Either that or you've gone barmy, but don’ rightly think so. ‘M pretty sure I know barmy when I see it and you aint it.” He stopped and furrowed his eyebrows “What did you want to know again?” Buffy rolled her eyes, flopped back on to his armchair and let out a sigh. She picked at the scabs on her hands. “How long have I been back for? What's happened? Has the basement flooded yet?” Spike slid down the wall and looked at her sadly. “Coupla’ days now, haven't heard nothin’ bout the basement from the nibblet.” he sighed and dropped his head in his hands. “Know a plumber? I need one like yesterday, long as he/she doesn't snack on the populous I don't much care who or what it is. And can they arrange a payment plan? Willow’s spent all my money resurrecting me and not paying bills or the mortgage, everything is overdue.” Spike growled, then looked thoughtfully at her “you don't mind? Even if its a demon?” she nodded, “I'm nowhere near the naive, suicidally depressed girl Xander and Willow ripped from her grave the last time round, I've spent the last year finding pockets of human and demon resistance and teaching them how to fight and defend themselves from the little psychotic flying balls of death Angel and The Master released on the planet. Long as they’re a grey hat of some variety I'll even offer them protection.” Spike's eyes lit up and he smiled slyly “Slayer, slayer, slayer what will the scooby snacks think of you?” Buffy slumped in her seat. “We need some protection amulets. Willow’s been messing with everyone's minds. That telepathy thing she's been doing isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I also need to make a call. Two calls. Walk a girl to a pay phone? I'm pretty sure the council has my phone lines tapped. Assholes.” Buffy jumped up and walked over to where Spike appeared to be angrily trying to force down his demon. She took his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. Angry yellow eyes peered up into hers. “I'm not going to let anything happen, not to you, not to Dawn, not to Anya and Tara. I love you Spike. Come, help me beat this thing.” His yellow eyes softened and gradually turned back into his normal blue. She smiled and kissed him gently on the forehead. “Really Slayer?” he said in disbelief. “Really, really. It's been lonely without you where I've been.”

***

“Hi, I was wondering if you could forward me through to the Tourist Information Center in Cardiff?... Yes, that's the one...That's fine, if they aren't open I'll leave them a message…. Thank you….”

We aren't here right now, please leave a message. Click. Beeeep. 

“Er.. Hi Jack, Javic. Whatever you’re calling yourself these days. You don't know me...never mind just look up Buffy Summers on your little arm doodad. The Sunnydale rift is doing wiggy things to the timeline. Er.. what did you tell me to say if I needed your help again? Ah, Bad Wolf. Bye.”  
Buffy hung up the phone and rubbed her temples. 

“You needed to call Cardiff of all places? There ain't anything out there except-” Buffy rolled her eyes and poked him gently in the chest to cut him off “Except another hellmouth, these guys have Initiative style funding with actual morals about how to treat sentient beings. With people that are far better qualified than you and me combined to deal with it. They say rift, we say hellmouth, pot-a-to, pot-ah-to and all that crap. They helped in the future and I'm pretty sure it's mostly their fault I'm here now.” Spike gaped for a second. Buffy kissed him on the jaw and smiled sweetly at him, “I don't want to go anywhere but I have to make sure time is stable before I go galavanting around and changing too many things.” 

She picked up the phone again. “Hi, would you be able to connect me to the Cornwood Inn in Devon, England please?...Thank you” Buffy tapped her nails on the handset impatiently “… Hi! I'm wondering if you could help me? Oh, of course you answered the phone.. haha, thank you...I guess you know why I'm calling… Yes, can you send us some help? There isn't anyone in Sunnydale strong enough to… Yes of course… Thank you, we look forward to seeing whomever it is in a day or two. Could you recommend someone to do a couple of protection charms for us?... They sound familiar, are they in the phone book? Thanks so much.. Goodbye!”

She hung up the phone with a sigh. “Is it a school night tonight?” Spike nodded and Buffy growled in annoyance. “Too bad, she's going to have to miss school tomorrow, I'll write her a note. When is sunrise tomorrow? I need to get to LA and visit this witch Althenea recommended. Can you drive us? I don't want you under Willow's influence anymore than I want me or Dawn.” he looked stunned and Buffy nudged him with her elbow “What's going on in your brain blondie?” he frowned “This is all so surreal, suddenly I seem to have everythin’ I've ever wanted and 'm not sure what to do next.” Buffy looped her arm through his and strolled into the nearest cemetery “Well,” she said with a careful smile “you could find me a plumber” She elbowed him and gave him a bit of a shove, “But first you have to catch me!” she shouted as she sped off into the darkness. Spike stopped for a second, unsure of what had just happened “Oi slayer! No fair!” and chased after her with all of his vampiric speed. He caught up to her and watched her jump along the top of some headstones, she looked up “Wow. I always forget how quick you are, you rarely use all your vampyness these days.” she smiled, balancing on one foot on top of Jane Espenson and jumped down gracefully to land in front of him. There was a glint in her eye and she winked at him suggestively. “Wanna spar? I know I could use a bit of violence before bed.” he looked up at the night sky and made an exparated noise “Is it bloody opposite night or sumthin’?” he looked back down at Buffy “Much as I'd love to pet, I don't fancy havin’ a migraine.” Buffy blew air through her lips in frustration “I guess we haven't gotten to this bit yet then, here” she said stepping forward and bowing her head toward him. “pull my hair, you know you wanna.” she smiled mischievously and he hesitantly reached out and grabbed a small section of hair. “You sure pet?” he said uncertainly and she nodded avidly. She pouted “please? For me?” he groaned and gave the blond hair in his hand a sharp yank, he braced himself for the pain. It never came. He did it again and whooped with delight. “Hey! Ow!” Buffy said as he did it a third time even harder “It's still attached you know!” he let go with a sheepish grin “Sorry pet, got caught in the moment” he froze “Are you going to stake me now?” It was Buffy's turn to frown, “Why would I do that? Are you going to go and eat a bunch of people? Kill me or my friends? Rob a bank?” he looked horrified “No! I'd never do anythin’ to hurt you or the bit. Or Glinda and Demon Girl, not on purpose anyhow. The rest can all take a hike.” Buffy gently kissed him on the mouth and he continued to stand there frozen. “Good,” she said with finality “I didn't think you would.” she scrunched up her nose “I'm the only one it doesn't work on anyway so you can stop worrying about that. Willow fudged something up slightly when she bought me back. Tara said it was like a cellular sunburn- whatever that means. I'm still me anyhow.” he let out an unnecessary breath. Buffy could see the ripple of his demon under his skin. She quirked an eyebrow and bit her lip “Gonna get me?” a strangled growl-snarl came from Spike “careful what you wish for little girl.” he said wickedly, brushing his tongue over his teeth. Buffy gasped in mock outrage “Who are you calling little, butt face?” he snorted and they both lunged for each other. 

*

“Take me out on a date?” she asked timidly. They were lying on the roof of his crypt looking at the stars, holding hands as he smiled into the night. “How bout I treat you and the nibblet to breakfast in LA and we see how it goes from there?” Buffy rolled over and put her head on his shoulder. “Sounds amazing.”

*

“Dawn!” Buffy whisper-shouted “Wake up! We need to go!” Dawn lolled groggily to one side and opened an eye. “The sun's not even up yet Buffy, it's not time for school!” she groaned “You aren't going to school today, we have important family stuff to do!” she poked the sleeping lump. “We're going to LA, come on you can sleep in the car, I don't want to wake Tara and Willow.” Dawn sat up looking sleepily suspicious “You aren't driving are you?” Buffy threw her hands in the air “Stop asking questions and get your butt into gear, Spike’s driving, we gotta get to LA while the sun is still down.” the younger girl seemed awake all of a sudden “Why didn't you say so?” she yanked back the covers and bounded across the room. “I just did you little twerp! Hurry up, I'll do your hair in the car.”

*

“Well pet, the recycling bin is full now, the nibblet should fit in easy.” Buffy squinted at the over full bin, it was now piled high with liquor bottles. “Great, now the next door neighbors are going to think we're alcoholics.” he pushed the bin to the kerb “you wanted the bottles gone luv, not my fault it's garbage day and you bints recycle everything in existence.”   
“Fine, can you just squish it down a little so it's not quite so obvious?”   
there was a sound of breaking glass and a quiet ‘oops!’ from the bleached recycling menace. Dawn chose that moment to appear “Why is Spike mucking around with the recycling bin?” Buffy sighed “because he’s an alcoholic and a bottle hoarder who thinks his car is the best place to keep them.” there was an annoyed ‘Oi!’ from the background as Spike tried unsuccessfully to fix whatever it was he had done to the bin. He appeared a moment or two later “See if I help you bints again, have to keep it ratty lookin’ don't I? There's no keys and none of the bloody door locks work, if someone thought it was in workin’ order they'd jus’ nick it!” Buffy raised an eyebrow “And it's definitely not because you're an alcoholic slob?” Spike rolled his eyes at her “You say that like it's a bad thing.” Dawn snickered and let herself into the back of the Desoto and closed the door behind her. “Did you get the other stuff?” he smiled wickedly, “They never even knew I was there.” Buffy elbowed him gently “At least your cat burglar skills are being used for good and not evil.” Spike bumped her with his hip “Oi! Am evil, slayer.” Buffy poked her tongue out at him and opened the car door. “The evil-est sweetie. I never doubted you for a minute.” he huffed and climbed in the car too “Coulda made it sound at least a little bit convincing pet. ‘M not your sweetie! I'm evil!!” Buffy nodded unconvincingly and patted him on the shoulder. “Damn it slayer!” he slapped the steering wheel “You're bloody lucky I love you!” he turned on the car and grumbled under his breath all the way to the highway.

*

“How goes things on the plumber hunt?” Spike glanced at the rear view mirror to watch his nibblet. She’d fallen asleep about 5 minutes after pulling out of Revello Drive. He smiled as the sound of her soft snores mingled with the sound of the engine. “Clem's cousin is a registered plumber, he's going to go have a look today while the wiccas are at class. He said he'd only charge you parts plus tax if you could swing round their apartment building once or twice a week to keep the more unsavoury types on their toes. Said he didn't mind how long it took you to pay, just that he gets something least once a month or so.” Buffy smiled “I can do that. One problem down, several billion to go” she let out a big yawn and snuggled into his side. “Would you mind if I had a half an hour nap? I feel like I've never slept before in my entire life which, considering I've only been back a day or two there is a very real chance I haven't yet.” He patted his knee “No worries, cummere luv, I'll wake you in a little bit.”


	2. Chapter 2

You can’t play God without being acquainted with the devil.   
— Dr. Robert Ford, Westworld, S01E02 Chestnut

The Desoto idled to a stop outside a fairly nondescript looking curio shop in the bad part of LA. Spike gently shook Buffy awake. “We're here pet, time to wake up.” He reached over the back seat and tried to rouse his nibblet. “Wakey, wakey Summers ladies your chauffeur has reached your desired destination.” he said a bit louder after no-one seemed to stir after a moment. Dawn yawned and stretched her arms “You’re dressed kinda casual for a chauffeur aren't you?” she said cheekily. Spike rolled his eyes “you two’ll be the dust of me.” Buffy yawned as well “Play nice with the cranky vamp Dawnie, he's supposed to be asleep by now. How come you didn't wake me before now?” Spike grumbled good naturedly “You looked knackered love, I figured the more sleep you had, the less cranky slayer I had to deal with.” Buffy poked her tongue out at him. “I'm going to go check out the shop, I'm getting some weird tinglies from it. I'll be back in a minute.” she ruffled Dawn's hair affectionately, gave Spike a kiss on the cheek and exited stage left.  
“You and Buffy huh?” The tired vampire turned in his seat and raised an eyebrow at the youngest Summers. “What is this? The bloody Spanish Inquisition?”   
Dawns eyes lit up “Ba bum! Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!” she announced dramatically   
“Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear!” said Buffy who had just opened the door. 

Dawn and Spike stared at her, agog. “What?” she said with a smile “I can't have layers?” 

Dawn frowned “You’re weird.” Buffy rolled her eyes “they open in an hour, I think it's time for breakfast, don't you Dawnie?” she opened her mouth to reply but her stomach made a gurgling noise and Buffy sniggered at her. “IHOP anyone?” there was a cheer from the back seat. 

Spike sighed and started the car. “Whatever my ladies want, my ladies shall have.”

*

“Dawnie are you having cheesecake pancakes with your peanut butter?” Even Spike looked a little green. The youngest Summers added scrambled eggs and chocolate syrup to the inch of peanut butter that already adorned her pancakes and dug in with relish. “God nibblet, can you not waft your concoction this way please? It’s enough to make a vamp lose his dinner.”   
Dawn stuck out her tongue and pointedly added pickles, chili flakes and mayonnaise to the top of her plate of pancake toppings. She stuffed some into her mouth and made an exaggerated ‘mmmmmm’ noise as Buffy gagged on her own pancake. 

“Demon guts I can handle, dismembered bodies I can handle, broken bones, blood and home amputations I can handle. Dawn's pancakes however-” she gagged again “Dawn, see that table over there aaaall the way on the other side of the restaurant?” she nodded and looked at her sister quizzically “That is your table until you have finished...whatever that thing is. Get!”   
“But Buff-”   
Buffy fanned her hands in front of her face “No! No breathing until you're all the way over there. Your breath could be used as a torture device right now.”   
Dawn looked hopefully at Spike who raised an eyebrow and tilted his head toward the table Buffy had indicated.   
“You guys are so mean!” She huffed and took her plate of whatever-it-was with her and flounced to the other side if the restaurant, threw herself into a chair and aimed a glare at both of them before continuing to shovel food into her mouth. 

“Did other Buffy tell you where Willow pulled me from yet?” Spike stopped to stare at her with his fork halfway to his mouth.   
“It wasn't hell was it?”   
She shook her head “Heaven, the witch pulled me out of heaven and down here to kill things every night and clean up her messes all day.”   
Spike clasped her hand in his. “Love,” he said, voice cracking “I'm so sorry. Can't deny I wanted you back every night you were gone, but rippin’ you out of heaven wouldn't be worth it, not at the cost.”   
Buffy looked at the table for a few moments. “The cost. See, I always knew you were a lot smarter than everyone ever gave you credit for.” he smiled sadly at her. “What was the cost?” 

She bit her lip “I don't think I should tell you.” he scowled “Buffy.” he said firmly “What was the cost?” She took a deep breath “The cost-” she cleared the sudden lump in her throat “The cost; Xander's eye, Tara, Anya and…” she seemed to shrink back into herself   
“And me.” he said quietly “That's why you were lonely in your future, not because I left, it’s because I was dust.” Buffy nodded tightly.

“Then Dawn was killed by Angel and the whole world fell apart- literally. Dawn's death weakened the walls between space and time. She was supposed to grow up, get old and then pass her key essence down to her children and grandchildren, pass away a grandmother, her children were supposed to go on to fortify the dimensional barriers by dissipating her original key power so it wasn't as volatile as it is right now.” 

Spike's eyes had gone gold, his face started to shift and his claws made deep gouges in the table top. “Angel killed my nibblet? That fucking tosser is going to die. I'm going to rip him limb from limb I'm gonna-” Buffy cleared her throat “not do anything just yet because we don't know what's going on with me yet. Afterwards I'm all for the disemboweling, I'll even participate.”   
Dawn chose that moment to rejoin the duo. “Who are we dismembering? Why is Spike all with the bumpies?”   
Buffy looked at her little sister “Two guesses?” Dawn tilted her head thoughtfully “Willow or uh, Angel?” Buffy nodded “I suppose both are technically correct, but it was mostly Angel Spike was being upset about right now.”   
Dawn's brows knitted together “What did Willow do now? Did she not do something right when she bought you back? Are you ok? You aren't going to turn into a zombie are you?”   
Buffy looked at Spike “do you think you can settle the bill and we'll continue this conversation in the car?” He rose and kissed the top of her head. “Sure thing love.” He ruffled Dawn's hair as he walked past and she squawked in protest.

*

“Ok, so what aren't you guys telling me?” she looked expectantly between the both of them. Buffy bit her lip. “She needs to know luv, trying to keep it from her will only make it worse.”   
She fidgeted uncomfortably “Willow didn't save me from a hell dimension.” Buffy let out a sigh “Where did she save you from? Did she save you?”   
Buffy grimaced “No, Dawnie she didn't, she ripped me out of heaven.”   
The youngest Summers let out an anguished cry and leapt across the seat into Buffy's arms. “I'm so sorry Buffy. I wished I could have you back every night after you died but I would never, ever have wanted this. What was it like?” Buffy arranged Dawn on her lap so her head was resting on Buffy's shoulder and she could stroke her long brown hair and hug her at the same time. “Did you see mom?” Buffy kissed her brow. “Kinda, it's difficult to like, articulate what heaven was like. I was warm and loved and safe and happy. It felt like I was cocooned in peace, like being wrapped in fairy floss, but not sticky. I was finished, complete. I never needed to worry about anything ever again because I knew that in the end everyone would be ok. I felt mom, and grandma and-” she stopped and looked at Spike for a moment. “I would have done the same thing you know, if I thought it would have saved mom and didn't know what I know now about the supernatural, I would have done the same thing. I didn’t understand the last time. But I do now, she doesn’t blame you. She’s up there happy and at peace.”   
Dawn shifted in Buffy’s lap. “Who are you talking about Buffy?”   
Buffy glanced down at the gangly teenager in her lap “That’s Spike’s story to tell, if and or when he chooses to tell it.” 

Buffy looked up at Spike, who had tears in his eyes “Dawn would understand too you know. You aren't a monster. You genuinely cared about her.”   
He stared at the floor for a few moments before looking searchingly into Dawn’s face. “Drusilla doesn’t even know about that, slayer.” Buffy grimaced “I know, I'm sorry.”   
He sighed and slumped down in his seat. “So nibblet, what do know about TB?” She looked confused for a second. “Satine in Moulin Rouge! had tuberculosis, it made her cough up blood and be all sweaty and pass out and stuff. Then she died.”   
Spike nodded, he hated that movie. “When I was still alive my mum had it, she was sick for a really long time, made her lose lots of weight, cough up blood- they called it consumption back then. She was so fragile. If anyone got a cold or sumthin’ she’d be bedridden for weeks. I loved her with every fiber of my being and I tried so hard to get her all the best doctors and all the best medicine, but nothing worked, antibiotics hadn't been invented yet.”

He coughed and looked uncomfortable “When I was turned I felt so alive, so powerful, so healthy. I also felt almost the same as before I had been turned. So I got this idea, if I felt like this, then I could save my mum from the horrible, painful death she was bound for, and I could keep her with me always. Happy and healthy, like what she deserved.”   
His breath caught in his throat and he swallowed audibly. “I snuck out, just me away from the others, I figured me, mum and Dru could tour the whole world together, leave that bully Angelus and that harlot Darla behind and make a name for ourselves.” He opened his mouth to continue “She-” he pursed his lips “When I-” Dawn reached out and stroked his shoulder “What happened when she woke up?” Buffy reached out to hold his hand and he took a deep breath “She wasn't my mum anymore, the demon completely took her and there wasn't anything left. Started comin’ on to me see, getting all aggressive, saying things my mother never would have even dreamed of thinking. She was like an animal with my mother's face, spewing hatred and disgusting things at me…” Buffy squeezed his hand comfortingly “I-” he swallowed and looked briefly into Dawn's face “Staked her. Killed her twice. My own mum.” Spikes hand shook slightly in hers and Dawn put her hand on their joined ones. “Buffy's right. I'd probably have done the same thing if I didn't know… you aren't a monster for trying to save your mom Spike.”   
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and sniffed to clear his throat “Thanks Nibblet.” 

The trio were quiet for a few minutes. “Why was Spike angry at Angel then? He had nothing to do with that story? Didn't he?” Spike rubbed his eyes and Buffy gently slid Dawn off her lap and on to the seat between them. “Something happened last night-” Dawn looked between her sister and Spike with wide eyes. “Did you guys sleep together?!”   
Spike choked a little and Buffy laughed “We didn't, but I'm sure it will come up at some stage. We're just taking it slow for the moment Dawnie.”   
“Xander is going to think you're under his thrall or something. Or he put a spell on you.”   
Buffy scoffed “Right like Xander doesn't know what a love spell does- he has first-hand experience.” she scrunched up her nose “Had me going after him in nothing but a trench coat and a pair of heels...I got turned into a rat… Then he freaked when Drusilla went after him and declared her undying love for him and Amy reversed the spell.”  
She thought for a moment “And I'm about 75% sure Spike doesn't have a thrall- or if he does he's either not very good at it or thinks it's unfair.” Spike glared at her for a moment and then looked guiltily at Dawn “M not very good, but I managed to use it to get the bit to go to bed or do her homework when the witches neglected her-”   
“Which was all the time!” Dawn broke in “sneaky vampire guy! I can't believe you! No wonder I always felt so confused about why I was doing my math homework. I Hate Math!” Buffy giggled “See what I said about using your powers for good and not evil! Common, admit it you aren't a black hat anymore more like light gray approaching that white color that happens when you wash white clothes incorrectly.”   
Spike growled at her. “Slayer weren't you tellin’ a story?” Buffy sighed “Fine! So yesterday I found myself walking around in Restfeild not knowing how I got there-”   
“Did Willow do something?”   
Buffy shrugged “I have absolutely no idea- but whatever she did or didn't do I'm not from 2001, I'm still Buffy, your Buffy but I'm from 2009, in a future which” she swallowed “Tara, Anya, Spike and you are all dead, and I managed to get out from the New Councils thumb and got caught up in a war started by Angel and an immortal alien called The Master, or Howard Saxon as he is currently calling himself.”   
Dawn had gone white “And Spike was upset because Angel started a war?”   
Buffy shook her head “Spike was upset because Angel was the one that killed you.”   
Dawn shrunk a little “oh.” Buffy hugged her little sister “Provided that the timestream is stable we have 8 years to make sure that doesn't happen. Right now we are dealing with Willow. She's doing bad stuff to everybody and we're here for some protection. Someone who can keep her in line should be here in a day or two. But until then.”   
Buffy indicated the shop outside the Desoto. “Is the sidewalk shaded enough for you?” He nodded “Should be fine pet, half the street is in the shade.” She nodded and the trio exited the car. Once they were standing outside- “Oh” Buffy said “I figured out why I've got weird tinglies from this place, there’s Gypsy magic guarding the door, look” Buffy indicated a string of incomprehensible symbols above the door “what is that?” 

Buffy touched the door frame and “ליידן די וואס קומען” glowed brightly “It says ‘leydn di vas kumen’ or ‘Bless those who enter’ Spike can't come in until we vouch for him with the owner or he'll be blessed- er it won't be pretty. “During the war lots of people used it because everything was technically owned by the government, because they weren't owned by people vamps had a free pass to whoever was inside. Are you going to be ok out here for a few minutes?” 

Spike raised an eyebrow “Yes, slayer managed without you for 120 years ‘m sure I can do a little bit longer.”   
Dawn punched him in the arm “Don't be a butt head, she's asking if you're ok after the mom thing, dingus.” He scratched his head in embarrassment “Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Thanks slayer, I'll be right for a minute.” Dawn rolled her eyes, Buffy smiled and led Dawn into the shop.


	3. Chapter 3

“Even I fell into the most terrible of human traps...Trying to change what is already past.”  
— Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Westworld, Season 1: Trace Decay

“Ohhh,” Dawn shivered as they stepped over the threshold “that feels freaky.” Buffy looked at Dawn sideways. “How did I not notice you where magic sensitive until now??” Dawn blew her a raspberry. “Because you never pay attention to me!!” Buffy nudged her with her elbow “I died for you missy, surely I should get some sister points?” Dawn sobered for a moment and Buffy smiled and elbowed her again. “Chin up Dawnie, I'm ok with it now, don't worry about me.” Dawn gave her a watery smile and they both headed to the counter.  
“Welcome to Witches Supply. I'm Magrat Garlick, what can I help you with on this blessed day?”   
Buffy smiled widely and put her wallet on the counter. “Firstly, your shop protection is way cool,” The witch beamed proudly. “you were recommended to us by Altheana from the Devon Coven. She said you would be an excellent choice to do a couple of protection amulets for us.”   
The witch looked dumbfounded for a moment. “I- really? They recommended me?”   
Buffy nodded “Absolutely,- oh my gosh I forgot to introduce myself. Hi! I'm Buffy Summers and this is my sister Dawn.” Buffy waved her hand towards her sister.  
“The Buffy Summers?” She said weakly.  
“The one and only, uh I have a friend outside who currently can't come in because of your protection spell, he is a vampire, but he’s a trusted friend and both Dawn and I are willing to vouch for him. He needs an amulet too. He's not going to eat anyone, I promise and if he tries anything, well I can more than keep him in line.” The witch studied her for a long moment. “Very well.” She swept out from behind the counter and toward the entrance of the shop.

Spike was pacing anxiously outside by the time the trio exited the shop. Magrat stopped and looked him up and down thoroughly. “At least you chose a pretty one.” she said shortly and turned back toward the shop. She held a finger to the door, the symbols above glowed red for a moment and then returned to blue again. “You should be fine to come inside now. Don’t make me regret this.” she said tersley.

“Now we have that out of the way, what can I do for you?” The witch leant one hip on the counter and surveyed the group thoughtfully. “Your auras are very beautiful together, all three of you.” She stared through Spike for a moment “You.” she said “Are a very peculiar vampire. All reds, yellows and oranges. Very peculiar indeed. It mingles with your companions. You care for them deeply. Hmmm... there is something else there too but I can’t make it out right now, there is too much blackness shrouding the three of you.”

“That would be why we are here,” Buffy broke in. “Our friend- or was our friend is casting magic on us and two more of our friends without our consent. She is one of the most powerful witches I’ve ever met and we currently have no way of guarding our minds against her. She’s become incredibly manipulative and power hungry and wants to control everyone.”

“Very well, I will require a few things; A totem from each of you, - something that will be kept on your person at all times, hair and a drop of your own blood and something of the witch that's trying to manipulate you. Then there is the matter of my fee-”  
Buffy frowned, she’d been expecting something but she was starting to get a bad feeling about this. “What do you need?”  
The witch looked embarrassed “Do you think you could sign something for me? I don't think anyone would believe I’ve helped ‘The Buffy Summers’”  
“Oh,” Buffy blushed and laughed a little. “I can't say I’ve ever been asked for a signature in payment before.”  
“And a photograph? Please?”  
Buffy smiled at the blushing witch. “Of course, how could I say no?”  
Magrat smiled and twirled away from the counter, returning a moment later with an ancient polaroid camera. “Would you do the honors, sir?” Spike nodded and took the camera from the trembling witch.  
“This isn’t going to steal my soul or something is it? Coz that's happened to me once already and I’d rather it not happen again.”   
Magrat gave her a funny look. “No..” she said slowly. “Now Miss Summers,-er if you’d kindly stand here.”   
Buffy moved around behind the counter and in front of the sign that held the shops name in ornate script over their heads. Spike took a few photos, Magrat inspected them and decided she liked the middle one best. She handed Buffy a marker and the photo to sign. Magrat carefully dried the ink and put it gently in the shop inventory book on the counter.  
She got out five pewter bowls and set them down on the counter, adding salt, gypsum powder, fennel and a small blob of mercury to each one.  
“Please add your totems.” Spike slipped his lighter into the bowl closest to him, then Anya’s engagement ring to the next and Tara’s mother’s ring to the one after that.  
Buffy added her necklace and directed Dawn to add hers to her own bowl.

Magrat muttered a few words over the bowls, which glowed with a bright purple light for a moment and then returned to normal. Please add the hair and other items to the bowls now, thank you.” She picked up a sharp looking silver dagger and handed it to Buffy, who pricked her finger and smudged it on the cross in her necklace. She combed her hands through her hair and pulled out a few stray hairs and added them to the bowl. Dawn did the same, followed by Spike who pulled a few hairs out of his head and nicked a finger with a fang. He deposited a bloodied cotton ball in Tara’s bowl along with a few strands from her hairbrush, then the corner of a ledger page that Anya must have cut herself on at one point. He added a few hairs he’d found in the magic box too.

“Wonderful, please stand back for a moment.” The trio did and watched as Magrat dropped a few dashes of holy water on the items, followed by some rusted iron nails. Sparks erupted from the bowls, sending a shower of hot metal over the counter.   
The witch stepped back and nodded, “Now the last ingredient.” Spike dutifully shredded a tissue the he had stolen from the waste paper bin and divided it between the bowls, Willow had been having nose bleeds.

“Thank you, please step back again.” She muttered some more words and added some green and purple gemstones to each of the bowls. She muttered something else under her breath and flicked her wrist. A green and silver tornado of fire erupted from each of the bowls, scorching the roof and knocking over bottles of ingredients on the counter.

Magrat reappeared from under the counter looking frazzled. “Your friends are all very powerful.” she gasped, leaning over the counter to catch her breath.  
Dawn looked at the devastation with wide, excited eyes “That was amazing!”  
The tired witch smiled at her affectionately.  
“I gather it doesn't usually do that then? I’m so sorry… If I had any idea I would have said something.” Buffy said, vaguely worried at the possibility they could have blown up the shop and hurt Magrat in the process.  
Magrat waived her off “No worries, all in a day's work...though not usually all at the same time like that though.” she snorted. “Make sure you keep those on you at all times. They’ll get hot if the witch tries to cast anything on you, she is very powerful, but they should at least hold out until your help arrives. Longer if she doesn't try anything directly against you.” 

The trio thanked the witch profusely and headed out of the shop.  
“I’ve got one more stop I need to make before we can head back to Sunnydale, I’ll need a phonebook.”

*

Buffy knocked, she knew it was a long shot that he'd be home in the middle of the day but she hoped he was there. Sluggish footsteps approached the door, Buffy could hear lethargic fingers fumbling with the doorknob, trying to get it open. Eventually the door opened to reveal a scruffy, unshaven man in a ratty bathrobe and novelty bunny slippers. His mouth hung open. “Bu-Bu-Buffy? You aren't- We were told- Are you dead?”   
Buffy bit her lip anxiously “Uh, no. Not so much anymore.”  
“How?”  
Buffy worried the hem of her shirt “Er-” she swallowed. “Willow resurrected me.”  
Wesley looked at her searchingly and tilted his head. “You don't seem.. happy about it? Where did she pull you from?”  
Buffy smiled at him. “You know it’s just you and Spike that’s asked me that?” Buffy looked at the floor for a moment. “The good place. Had to dig myself out of my own coffin on arrival back here though… Unpleasant doesn't even begin to cover it.”  
Wesley ushered her inside his cramped and paper filled apartment, he shifted stacks of files off an armchair and began to pace worredly. Buffy sat in the vacated armchair and watched him pace for a few moments.  
“Where on earth was Mr. Giles? Did he help? Surely he would’ve- he would have known better, would have checked.”  
Buffy swallowed again “He moved back to Bath after I died. Willow called him to let him know I was alive, and he is on his way back now but..-”

“He left the hellmouth unguarded! That irresponsible twat!”

Buffy stifled a giggle, she’d never gotten to see this side of Wes before. “Wes- I kinda have this feeling- I don't think Giles is going to stay. I know you have a life here in LA, but if for some reason you need to get out of dodge, there's a place for you back in Sunnydale, Dawn, Spike, Tara, Anya and I would love to have you back- no matter what baggage you’re bringing with you. You’ve grown up alot since the last time we saw each other, I think you and the gang would get along pretty well now.”

He pursed his lips “I notice Willow and Xander aren't on that list-”  
“No” Buffy replied “They are on my shit list for the moment. Time will tell though.”

“Did you have a dream about my coming to Sunnydale?”  
Buffy shook her head. “No, but I just kind of have this feeling you might need to leave, escape for some reason. We take in strays on the hellmouth, We’d be glad to have you back if you need us.”  
Wesley smiled gratefully “It seems you’ve grown up a great deal too Miss Summers. Though, did you say William the Bloody before? Hasn’t he tried to kill you on multiple occasions?”

Buffy grinned “It was mutual really, see he was captured by these people called the Initiative…”

*

Buffy left Wesley’s apartment happy. She’d always been upset with herself for not finding out how Wes got into the giant mess with W.R.H and Angel and ended up dead. Hopefully he wouldn't now ether, this version of Wes was awesome.

Spike pulled the car up outside The Magic Box and Buffy kissed him on the cheek. He grinned like an idiot. There was a chorus of ‘Spike and Buffy sittin’ in ah tree...” from the back seat and both the Slayer and the vampire rolled their eyes and turned to her. “Nibblet, we need to keep this to ourselves for the next few days- “  
“Tara and Anya will understand but Xander and Willow will think something’s wrong with me and try to fix it. I’d rather that not happen until we have help.” Spike nodded in confirmation and Dawn looked at Buffy with wide, scared eyes. Buffy leaned over the seat and stroked her hair. “It’ll be alright Dawnie, the next few days are going to be- hard but at least we won't have any errant spells affecting us this time. Make sure you keep that necklace on, I mean in the shower, while you’re asleep, all the time. You were the one who noticed the memory gaps first with Tara and I’m counting on you to do it again. I can’t be everywhere at once. Ohh also. Don't go to the movies with Willow or .. just try not to be around her if at all possible. I need you to go home with Spike and talk to the plumber, I need to organise my future employment with Anya. You also need to plant Tara’s ring somewhere it would seem like she would have put it and forgotten about it by accident. Ring The Magic box when you get home to let me know everything went well, please and I’ll see you at home in a few hours. Buffy leant over the seat and kissed Dawn on the top of her head. 

She grinned and gave Buffy a thumbs up.“Check, one secret agent sister coming right up.”   
Buffy groaned and got out of the car. “I’ll see you tonight?” She said through the open car door.  
“Yeah, I’ll make sure the Bit is all settled, make sure Charlie is ok with the plumbin’ and head back to my crypt for a nap, a change of clothes and a shower.”   
Buffy hesitated “Do you think you could swing by your crypt, grab your clothes, shower at Revello and nap in my room? I know it's going to be loud, but I’d rather not leave Dawn alone with all the stuff that's going on.. And with an unfamiliar demon in the house as well.” Buffy watched Spikes adam's apple bob nervously. “Your... room?” he squeaked, voice breaking.  
“Well, I mean you could probably sleep on Dawn’s bed but she looks like she is going to crash in an hour or two, so you’d be sharing with Miss Razor-sharp-elbows-who-likes-to-thrash-in-her-sleep.” There was an indignant ‘Hey!’ from the back of the car. “And I think Willow might set you on fire if she found you in mom’s room on their bed. Or hey, you could sleep on the couch, closer to all the noise with the added possibility of accidentally getting the curtains opened on you? Mmmmm crispy vampire, my favourite.” Spike sighed the sigh of the long suffering. “S’pose I can deal with this hardship then can’t I?”   
Buffy snorted at him. “Please, you’d give your right fang to sleep in my bed..” her voice lowered an octave “surrounded with all that... Buffy-smell.” she leaned in closer and whispered, tracing the shell of his ear with her tongue and he shivered. “If you touch yourself in my bed and mess up my sheets you’ll be cleaning them yourself.” She bit his earlobe and he scowled at her. She pulled away, smiled wickedly and walked into the magic box.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey Anya, can I talk to you for a bit?” Anya looked up from the cash register. “Are you sure you're looking for me and not Xander or Willow? I mean I know you said my name and everything but you've been out of the ground for like two days and I'm not entirely sure you are all there yet.” 

Buffy grinned and absently rolled a green gem that had been sitting on display on the counter around the surface of the table “I have a proposition for you.”  
Anya perked up. “Orgasms or money? You are very nicely shaped, however I don't think I want to share my Xander.” her eyebrows furrowed. “Which is strange because I never used to have this problem when I was a Justice Demon. Human emotions are strange.”

A blacked out Land Rover Vogue drove slowly past the shop outside as Buffy waited for Anya to come to terms with the intricacies of the feelings she had just discovered.   
Buffy rolled her eyes.   
Gee, gotta work on stealth, guys.

“Anya- It's about money, and how you can help me make some and then I can pay you back with interest, you can charge me rent and everything. I was thinking we could come to some arrangement that benefits both of us.”  
Anya's eyes lit up. “Well of course, why didn't you say so?” She bent down to pick up a few notepads and pens from under the counter and Buffy dropped Anya's engagement ring into the small pencil case that housed the many colored pens, pencils, stamps and other paraphernalia that Anya used to keep the shop running. Anya pulled up a stool to the counter and beckoned Buffy to come over and sit next to her.  
“Ok Buffy, what did you have in mind?” Anya positively vibrated with excitement.  
“So,” Buffy hedged. “Willow has spent all the insurance money Dawn and I where depending on to get us through school and get jobs. She hasn't paid any of the bills since I died so everything is on final notice, including the mortgage on the house. I need to come up with a way to make money that doesn't depend on someone else to roster my shifts due to, you know, demons and world savage stuff.” Buffy looked up at Anya, who shockingly, appeared to be becoming increasingly angry.  
“Willow lied to us. She said she had all the finances under control. She's ruined your credit for no good reason! That selfish!-” She stopped herself. “Come by tomorrow with all the outstanding documents and we'll spend the day finding the ones you can get extensions for and which ones need to be paid immediately. In the meantime I’d be asking Willow and Tara for back rent for living in your house while you were gone. They would have had to pay for living in the dorms anyway, it’s not as though they spent much of their own money.”  
Buffy nodded. “I wanted to ask if I could rent the training room from you to start my own self defense classes. I was thinking I could clean up the alley out the back and put a sign over the door so people knew where to go,-”   
The phone rang and Anya leaned in her chair to pick it up. “This is The Magic Box, Anya speaking. How may I relieve you of your money today?” She scowled at the phone. “Dawn! You aren't a paying customer!” She handed the phone to Buffy with a huff.  
“Hey Dawnie, what's going on?” Dawn made one of those super sonic squealing noises that never failed to deafen the surrounding area. “Charlie is so cool! I mean, I've never met a plumber before, but I’m pretty sure they all can’t be this cool.” Buffy cleared her throat in a way she hoped sounded genuine, but also alerted Dawn to the fact she wasn’t alone. “Uh… Dawn why do we need a plumber?” Dawn sounded confused for a moment. “Because the pipes were leaking?” She asked hesitantly. “But there is a plumber there now and the leaky pipes are under control, right?” Dawn made an ‘ohhhh’ noise. “Yeah, Spike called a plumber and everything.” Buffy made what she hoped was a surprised face. “Spike called a plumber? How uncharacteristically responsible of him. Well, if it's all under control I’m going to stay at the magic box for a little while longer and try to sort out all the stuff Willow screwed up while I was away if that’s ok?” Anya cursed under her breath at the mention of Willow’s selfishness. “Yeah that's ok, Spike is going to stay here and look after the plumber.” She yawned. “And I’m going to have a nap before dinner. Are you going to be home when I get up?” Buffy nodded, then realised Dawn couldn’t see her through the phone. “I plan to be, if I’m not I probably won't be far away ok?”  
“Ok, bye Buffy… I love you.”  
Dawn said it in such a way it made her chest hurt. “Love you too, Dawnie see ya soon ok?” Dawn hummed in agreement and hung up the phone. Buffy passed the phone back to Anya and continued.  
“So I was thinking, I’d do their first class free and then after that I’d charge like $15 for a two hour class, less if they sign up for like 10 classes and pay in advance or something. I kinda think I’d scatter a few classes through the week at different times then depending on what gets popular I’ll add more of those.”   
Anya smiled brilliantly. “That sounds like a great idea, you could do a special class for gang members on PCP and wild animal defense too.”  
“Anya, you have the best Ideas. So I think I’ll need some flyers, Dawn and I can do mailbox drops, put a few up near the Bronze, supermarket, the movies.”  
45 minutes later Buffy and Anya had worked out a temporary schedule for her classes while they hopefully became more popular. The girls roughed out some flyers.

Sunnydale Self Defense

First Lesson free!  
Call and reserve your place today!  
Class times;   
Monday 11.00pm -1.00am  
Tuesday 3.00am-5.00am  
Wednesday 6.00am-8.00am  
Thursday 10.00am-12.00pm  
Friday 3.00pm-5.00pm  
Saturday PCP special 6.00pm-8.00pm  
Sunday 7.00pm-9.00pm

Classes start from $15, discounts available for classes paid in advance.   
All ages welcome!  
Perfect for a work out or those wishing to learn more about self defense.  
More classes to be added on demand.  
Classes taught by an experienced professional.

Buffy added the location and the phone number of The Magic Box down the bottom, Anya was going to set up an phone answering system that would separate calls to the magic box and calls to the self defense class so they could keep them seperate. That and Anya didn’t want to alter her phone answering speech.

“I’ll get these photo copied and I’ll get Xander to drop them over tomorrow morning when he picks up Dawn for school if we don't see you before then.” Buffy gave Anya a big face splitting smile.  
“I’ll be over tomorrow with all the paperwork Willow has collected and left unpaid. Thanks Anya for all your help, I couldn’t have done it without you.” She had the sudden impulse to give her a hug. So she did. She pulled back a few moments later feeling incredibly awkward. “Uh- Thanks… I’ll see you later then.” 

Buffy scurried out of the shop feeling a bit like a coward. She started toward home when she heard a car engine start and looked around to find the black Land Rover following her again. She turned around and raised an eyebrow in it’s direction. The black SUV turned left without indicating and sped away. She scoffed and continued to walk home. At least it wasn’t the nerds yet with their stupid- stupidness. Buffy rolled her eyes at herself, she really was feeling eloquent today.

The sound of work being done to the house filtered all the way out onto the sidewalk and Buffy winced, poor Spike. Hopefully he had managed to get some sleep, because she sure hadn’t someone needed to be cogent at some point and apparently that was going to be Dawn and Spike. 

Buffy made her way down to the basement, intent on meeting the plumber. “Hi! You must be Charlie, I’m Buffy. How is everything going?”  
The demon winced. “It's not good, I wished someone had called before now. It would have made everyone's lives much easier.”  
Buffy grimaced, “I would’ve but I’ve been dead for the last few months. Full copper repipe, huh?”  
Charlie winced and nodded. “Looks like.”  
“No problem, I was kinda expecting it anyway. Do you need anything? I’m going to go and sort out some bills and stuff, gimme a yell if you do.” Charlie waved and Buffy went back up stairs.

Dawn was sleeping quietly and Buffy sat on the bed next to her and stroked her hair. She’d missed her.   
Horribly.   
She pressed a kiss to her crown and quietly closed the door behind her.

Spike however, was doing a starfish impression on her bed. Face crushed into her pillow making little purring noises occasionally. His hair was still damp from the shower and she ran her hand through his curls.

His eyes opened slowly and he smiled at her. “Hey cutie” he croaked. Buffy smiled at him, locked the door and snuggled down next to him on the bed. “Hey you. I just- I can’t believe I’m back. I can’t believe you, Anya, Tara and Dawn are here. I’m going to try and keep you all safe ok?” Spike nuzzled her in agreement. “Promise you won’t leave?” He raised his head from her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. “Won't get rid of me now pet.”   
Buffy rubbed her face on his. “Good.”


	5. Chapter 5

“If you go looking for the truth, get the whole thing. It’s like a good fuck. Half is worse than none at all.”  
— Maeve Millay (Thandie Newton), Westworld, Season 1: The Well-Tempered Clavier

There was yelling coming from down stairs.  
Buffy sighed and shook off her tiredness. She nudged Spike for a moment “Spike” she hissed “Spike wake up” He yawned and stretched, looking around in confusion at the unfamiliar place he’d woken up in. “Hey, you’re in my room at Revello, don't worry. I need to go down stairs and sort out the yelling, can you come down quietly in 10 minutes and make it seem like you’ve just gotten here?” he nodded. “Ok, just remember that I love you, I might have to say some stuff to keep the others off my back, but I really don’t mean it ok?” He grinned goofily. “No fear love,” He said huskily, “Ole’ Spike has thicker skin than that. A few barbs thrown my way aren't going to make me love you any less.” Buffy pecked him on the cheek and started running a brush through her hair. “Thank you.” She checked that her clothing wasn’t too rumpled and headed downstairs to the increasingly loud shouting.

Buffy reached the bottom of the stairs and to her dismay, but not surprise, found Xander pointing a sword at Charlie who was trying to get away, Dawn who was trying to take the sword out of Xander’s grip and yelling about how he was a nice demon, Tara who looked completely overwhelmed and torn between Dawn, Xander and Willow, who was, surprise, surprise holding a ball of green magic in her palm ready to throw at Charlie if he moved an inch.

Buffy took a deep breath. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs and no one had noticed her in all the confusion.

“ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS! WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF THREATENING MY PLUMBER?”

Everyone except Dawn jumped in shock and she managed to wressle the sword from Xander’s grip while he was startled. Willow and Xander’s mouths hung open in outrage.  
“But, he was in the basement, doing evil things to your pipes. The water wasn’t working! He was doing something!! Something bad! I was protecting you and Dawn and Tara and Willow!” He turned around to go back to the weapons chest and get something else sharp, completely dismissing her and deciding he was right.

Buffy rubbed her temples, it was going to be a long night. “Xander,” she sighed. “If you don't put that down I’m going to take it off you and I won't be gentle. Firstly, since when do I, Tara and Willow need protecting? Willow,’ she said off handedly “Put that out, it's completely unnecessary and way overkill. If you’re going to kill someone do it yourself with your own hands, so you understand what you’re taking from the world, the weight and the worth of the life you’re extinguishing.” 

She turned on Xander. “Ok Xander since you’re a little hard of hearing today let's try some context clues. Let’s put aside the fact he’s a demon for a second. If it was a human standing there what would you say he was doing, keeping in mind that you said the water wasn’t working and he was doing something to the pipes.”  
Xander looked dumbfounded “Ah.” he said stupidly.  
“What’s he got on his belt, Xander?”  
“A...pipe wrench?” he said unsurely  
“And what's he wearing?”  
“Overalls?”  
“Ok, Xander and what does the logo on his overalls say?”  
“Charlie’s Plumbing Services?”  
“So, if he wasn’t a demon, and you weren’t such a bigot what do you think he was doing?”  
Xander’s mouth hung open. Anya, however chose that moment to walk through the front door.  
“Charlie! I haven’t seen you in ages! How is the business going? Did Shelly hatch her brood yet? They must be so cute!” She walked straight past Xander and hugged Charlie, who looked relieved, but still mostly terrified. “Anya, can you make sure he has all his things and make sure he gets to his car ok, please? I’m sorry for all the life threateningness Charlie, they will have much better manners next time or they won’t be welcome back. I’ll get Spike to give me your address so I can go scare a few uglies ok?” Charlie nodded and scurried out after Anya. “Thanks guys, you just scared the crap out of my plumber for no reason, I’ll be lucky if I can get him to come back after that.”  
“Plumber?” Xander said weakly “But Buffy, he’s a demon, why would you want him back?”  
“For god's sake Xander, why do you think I need a plumber? There’s something wrong with the pipes and I can’t afford a human plumber because Willow spent all Mom’s insurance money on resurrecting me and hasn’t paid any bills since before I died! They’re going to turn off the electricity, cut the phone line, turn off the water and foreclose on the house if they aren’t paid like yesterday!”   
“Yes,” said Anya, coming back inside. “It was extremely irresponsible of you to put Buffy into debt while she was dead, you’ve ruined her credit! We asked you if everything was ok money wise and you said you had it under control! How did you think Buffy was going to pay for it all once she was back among the living? Buffy doesn’t get a wage for being a slayer- which I think is incredibly unfair. It’s slavery is what it is.”  
Willow looked with pleading eyes at everyone in the room. “I thought- well-. Buffy always managed before! I don't see why this is any different!”  
“I managed because Dawn and I were living off moms insurance money! It was supposed to last until I finished college and could get myself a paying job!”  
“Oh.” said Willow “How was I supposed to know that?”  
“Willow, you have no idea how much I want to shake you until your head pops off.”  
“Is what Buffy’s saying true Will’s?” Willow nodded, apparently ashamed for once.  
“You and Tara owe me rent back from the time I died, if you plan on continuing to live here I expect you to pay rent and contribute a reasonable amount to the grocery bill and other amenities you use.”  
“But Buffy!” Willow all but wailed. “That’s not fair! I stayed here and looked after Dawn for you and, and, and you can’t just charge me rent! You’re supposed to be my friend!”  
“Willow, you, Xander and Giles neglected Dawn while I was gone. You were supposed to be family. I died for her and the rest of the planet and you couldn’t even be bothered to take care of the one person in the world I’d died specifically to protect! Tara and Spike looked after Dawn while you were out doing whatever it was you were doing while you weren’t looking after my grieving little sister. She got a front row seat to me jumping off the tower and hitting the pavement below! How dare you ignore my family!”  
Willow winced at suddenly no longer being included in Buffy’s family.  
“I resurrected you! You owe me! I did all this for you Buffy! I didn’t want you to spend anymore time in hell than you had too!”  
“No! You did all this because you couldn’t handle the responsibility of being in charge anymore! You figured out how lonely and tiring it is to have to wander around cemeteries at night and try and stay awake during the day to attend class, to be responsible for all the lives you take to make sure others are safe. How much everyone demands you make them happy because you aren't doing something right or this person doesn’t feel special because you’ve been neglecting them trying to figure out something that is potentially world ending or life changing! I don’t owe you anything! If anything you owe me!”

“What? How! I only did what I thought was best! I saved you! Your soul was in hell!”

“If that’s the case Willow why didn’t you just pull my soul out of hell and put me on up to heaven like I deserved? Why the need to stick me back in my decaying corpse six feet under hard packed earth? And while you were at it did you also find it unnecessary to actually check where you were pulling me from?”

“I didn’t need to check! You were in hell! You fell into a hell portal! Where else would you go?”

“I fell through a portal, which killed me, I was already dead when I hit the ground! My body didn't go with me! You didn't have to pull my body from another dimension because it was already here, rotting in my grave! Why would the portal rip my soul from my body and leave my body here if I wasn't actually dead?”

“Because- because” Willow screwed up her face. “You should be grateful! I saved you!”

“You didn't save me, Willow.” Buffy said in a low voice. “I was happy where I was and you ripped me out of heaven because you couldn’t be bothered to do my job anymore. Because it was too hard and you wanted to go back to your old life were you didn't have any responsibilities!”

“Buffy-” whispered Tara. “Is that really were you were?”  
Buffy nodded tightly. “Willow! How could you! You said you checked!” Tara moved over to Buffy and held her hands with her own. Buffy noticed with some relief that Tara was wearing her mother's ring again.“I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I need to-” Tara burst into tears and ran up the stairs. The door slamming shut behind her a few moments later echoed through the suddenly silent house. The sound of Tara vomiting into the upstairs toilet assaulted the group at large and they all looked around uncomfortably.  
“Buffy! What’s wrong with you? How could you just upset Tara like that?”

“You're blaming me for your own mess now? I told you guys the truth, you ripped me out of heaven and you, Willow, want me to thank you for it! I never had to worry about any of this stuff again and you pulled me back here, left me in my grave expecting me to pick up exactly where I left off because you say so and it's too hard. You tore me out to clean up your mess and kill things every night. I was done. Finished. At peace. This place is hell compared to where you pulled me from Willow and I won't thank you for it!”

The sound of heavy bags being dropped at the front door made everyone turn.  
Giles stood in the front door, staring at Buffy. He had tears in his eyes. “Heaven?” he asked weakly. Buffy moved towards him for a hug. As much as she despised future Giles for becoming the despotic head of The New Council's regime in her future, the one she'd had to escape. This wasn't that Giles. Not yet. He was the closest thing she'd ever had to a father and she'd take whatever she could get while he decided to stick around.  
“Oh god, Buffy.” Buffy wrapped him in a hug that she'd been missing for more than 8 years.  
“You're alive. You're here. And you're still ...remarkably strong.” Buffy stepped back and released him, although she really didn't want to. This was one of the last genuine hugs she'd ever received from him.  
“Huh? Oh… sorry”   
He ran his hands over her shoulders and ran his thumbs across her cheeks “Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe …”   
Buffy smiled at him sadly “I've missed you.”  
He frowned for a microsecond and then dismissed whatever had troubled him. “It's, uh ... you're …”  
“A miracle?”  
“Yes. But then, I always thought so.”

Buffy smiled at him. “Do you have somewhere to stay? There isn't a lot of room but I can make up the couch if you want?”  
Giles sagged with relief. “That would be wonderful.” He looked at Willow ruefully. “I can see I will be needed here for the moment.” Buffy flinched but picked up his bags regardless and started to take Giles to where he would be sleeping. “I have however, noticed that Willow has made no attempt at an apology whatsoever.”  
Buffy looked down at Willow condescendingly. “I wasn't expecting one, she's still under the delusion she hasn't done anything wrong and that I should fall at her feet and thank her.” She led Giles out of the room and made up the couch for him. “I’ll put you out a towel once Tara’s finished in the bathroom so you can wash off all the gross airportyness before you get into bed-er couch.” Buffy turned to go but Giles gripped her arm to stop her. “Buffy, dear girl, are you ok?”   
Buffy looked up at him and snorted. “No, not even a little bit. Willow about bankrupted me while I was having my dirt nap. Every second back down here feels like hot knives under my skin and I'm so angry I could just about justify myself ripping off Willow's head with my bare hands. But hey, I'm the slayer so I'll just keep on going on killing stuff like everyone expects, no matter my feelings or mental state. Long as everyone else is safe and happy and moving on with their lives while I'm still stuck here. Until something else nasty gets me, because I was too tired, too depressed, wasn't paying enough attention or didn't care. Who knows if I get to rest then, hey? Maybe Willow will bring me back just for shits and giggles again. I can't think what consequences there would be for resurrecting a twice dead slayer, can you?” Buffy shook herself. “It's been a long couple of days Giles. Nothing is fine for the moment. I'll see you in the morning.” Giles watched her go in shock, his slayer was clearly not alright. Why had she flinched at the mention of his stay?


	6. Chapter 6

“The piano doesn’t murder the player if it doesn’t like the music.”  
— Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Westworld, Season 1: The Well-Tempered Clavier

“What are you doing here deadboy?” Xander snarled, noticing that Spike had been standing inside the front door for quite a while now. He motioned with his hand.  
“No one wants you here, chips ahoy, run along like a good little vampire and leave Buffy and Dawn alone.” 

Dawn had belatedly noticed Spike's presence too and she latched on to him and started explaining a mile a minute about how Xander had tried to filet Charlie with a sword and how Buffy said that he was a bigot. “What's a bigot?” She finally finished, out of breath and panting slightly. 

Spike frowned, apparently the slayer had grown one hell of a spine in the intervening 8 years. He looked pointedly between Xander and his Bit. “Someone who is intolerant of other races or cultures and is obstinately devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, Nibblet.”   
Dawn nodded approvingly, and Xander made an outraged noise. “That sounds like Xander, ever since Darla turned Jessie, Xander hates anything not human, which, like come on. The only type of dates Xander ever gets aren't human. You think he would have figured it out by now. Not all demons are bad.”

Spike's eyebrows rose. “Darla turned Jessie? I'm guessin’ they were best mates or something and that syphilitic whore turned him to send a message?”   
Buffy walked back into the room after having taken a few moments to herself to get her brain all sorted out. It appeared Willow had gone to talk to Tara. “Spike! Language!” 

Dawn smothered a laugh and Spike made an attempt at looking suitably chastised. “But, yeah, that's what happened, Xander dusted him by accident. He was going to rape Cordelia and he fell on Xander's stake in the mass exodus of the Bronze after I killed Luke.”

Spike looked very serious for a moment. “Darla made you a grenade in the shape of your best mate. That's bloody awful.” 

Xander had gone very red. “Don't you!” He waved a shaking finger toward Spike. “Don't you say his name… you… you filthy disgusting vampire.” 

Spike held up his hands in surrender. “Didn't mean nothin' by it.”

Xander stood in the middle of the room looking around trying to figure out something to say. “You hate Darla too? But she's like vamp family and stuff.” He shook himself. “Don't pretend you feel sorry for me!” he yelled.

Spike shrugged. “Bloody well hated the bitch,”

“Language!” Buffy muttered tiredly.

“‘m glad she's dead, right stoked actually. Wish someone woulda dusted ‘er sooner. Don't got no problem stakin’ family. Killed The Annoyin’ One after visitin’ you lot at the school din’ I? Would be happy to stake peaches too if he shows his massive forehead round here.”

Xander frowned. “You're just saying this stuff to confuse me. You don't really care about any of this. You're just here so you can get in Buffy's pants! Just… get out! You aren't needed anymore, nobody wants or needs you!”

“I need him!” Dawn piped up, outraged on Spike's behalf.

“Don't be stupid Dawnie, Buffy's back now everything is going to go back to normal.”

“Xander don't talk to my sister like that. She's right, she does need him. You think just because I'm back from the dead everything is going to be back to normal? Dawn still witnessed me jump off that tower, that kind of trauma doesn't just go away overnight no matter how much you try and pretend it does and no matter how many tranquilisers you throw at it.” 

She glared at Xander who shrunk a little. Spike aimed a deadly glare his way and started for Xander, but Dawn grabbed his duster sleeve and wouldn't let go, Spike drug her a few inches along the floor before giving up. “I'm not taking away one of Dawn's main caregivers because I'm suddenly not mystically dead anymore, I have my own trauma to work through and Dawn needs the emotional support who was there for her while I was dead. I'm not going to get rid of him just because he makes you uncomfortable and you don't like him. He’s important to Dawn's mental health and wellbeing.” 

“But Buffy!” Xander whined. “Evil vampire! Surely Tara could-”

Buffy shrugged “Maybe Tara could, but I think she has enough on her plate right now don't you? I'm certainly not going to make her, especially since she has her own free will and stuff. It's not fair of me to ask especially seeing as how Spike was willing to step up when you, Willow and Giles didn't.”

“But we were busy- we had our own jobs and lives to worry about!” Xander threw his hands in the air in frustration.

“And Tara didn't? And my sister isn't important enough to worry about? I died for her so she didn't have too and that means you treated my sacrifice like it meant nothing. What was the point of me dying if my own little sister gets neglected by people who I thought loved her?”

Xander wasn't sure how the conversation had slipped so far out of his reach. “That's not what I meant Buffy, stop twisting my words! It's just that no one had the time… no wait. That's not what I meant.”

Buffy held up her hands. “Xan, you’re doing that all by yourself, you don't need any of my help digging the hole you're currently in.”

Anya nudged Xander “Come on, it's time to go home.”  
Xander pushed her away. “No Ahn, you don't understand. I have to fix this!”

“You can't fix it.” she hissed. “You and Willow ripped the poor girl out of heaven, she has every right to be angry at you.” She pulled at Xanders sleeve and turned to Buffy. “I’m sorry for my part in this Buffy. In my defense however I did ask where you were and told them it was still a bad idea. Actually, I don't really remember why-” She cut herself off and shook her head.

She smiled widely and continued “We'll be going now, I'll see you in the morning ok?” Buffy turned a glare on Xander, but turned and smiled at Anya a moment later. “Thanks Anya, you've been a big help already.”  
“Your flyers are by the front door, I'd get them out as soon as possible so you can start earning money.”

“Thanks, see you guys later.”

Dawn looked from Buffy to Spike, who both looked incredibly angry. “What's wrong.. I mean apart from the obvious?”  
Buffy looked at Spike for a moment and nodded.  
“Can you go get your laundry hamper please? And mine. I need help with the washing. I'll see you downstairs, come on Spike.” Dawn looked puzzled for a moment and Spike gave her a significant look. Her eyes widened in understanding.  
“Why do I have to do washing? This is stupid.” She huffed loudly and thumped her way up the stairs.  
Buffy turned into the kitchen and gathered up pot holders, tea towels, dish rags and a hand towel. She ushered Spike down the stairs into the basement and started to sort the pile of laundry into colors, and wash instructions. After a moment, Spike started to help, though his facial expression looked as though he wasn't entirely sure how he'd really ended up here. 

A few minutes later Dawn appeared dragging two laundry hampers down the stairs and shutting the door behind her. “For a dead person you sure have a lot of dirty clothes you know?”  
Buffy rolled her eyes. “I'm pretty sure most of that was from the bot.”  
She pulled the damp washing out of the machine and transferred it to the dryer and turned it on. She stuffed some dark clothes into the washing machine and turned that on too.  
Buffy motioned to the piles of dirty clothes that Dawn had dumped on the floor and the trio started sorting again.  
“I'm pretty sure Willow’s put a compulsion spell on Anya. I wouldn't be surprised if she put one on Tara too. She always seemed like she was unsure why she’d gone through with the spell in the first place later on.”

Dawn's face was ashen. “She's supposed to love her! How could she?”  
Buffy shrugged “Willow thinks she’s doing the right thing, she doesn't care about the consequences. It's never occurred to her to do it any other way. Remember her ‘my will be done’ spell? She did it because she couldn't cope with Oz leaving and tried to fix it with magic. In the meantime Xander was almost killed, Giles was blind and Spike and I got engaged. She could have gotten Giles killed too, he couldn't defend himself.” 

Spike got her attention and nodded to the door.

“Did I ever tell you about how I was a vampire for like 6 hours?” Spike cocked his head and looked her up and down.  
“Didn't know they had a cure for vampirism love, and you don't look like a vamp.”  
Dawns eyes were huge. “Was it cool?”  
Buffy and Spike simultaneously rolled their eyes at her.  
“No, I was really hungry though. I think it might have been a little easier on me because I've already got my own demon bouncing around in here.” She tapped the side of her head “Made it much easier not to eat my friends. I can see why fledges are the way they are though.”

“You-” Said Dawn.

“How'd that happen love?”

“It was before you came to town. There was this little boy- Billy who got put into a coma by his little league coach for losing the game. He’s a really powerful telepath, while he was in a coma he started manifesting everyone's nightmares. Giles’ was me dying, and mine was becoming a vampire. So, The Master found me, killed me and tossed me into my grave. Giles and co. found it just as I was clawing my way out. I was mostly the same though. I'm really glad Giles didn't stake me, I don't think that would have been fixed when Billy woke up. Have you ever heard about any slaypires before, Spike?”

Dawn was torn. How come she hadn't been told about the vampire thing and how come she didn't know that the slayer thingy was a demon?

“Not many vamps stupid enough to turn slayers. They're wicked powerful and near impossible to control. Most slayers I've heard of don't usually go down by vamp, usually something bigger and nastier gets em, so most wouldn't get the opportunity anyhow.”  
He held up a shirt with a raised eyebrow.  
“Just put it with the tan colored stuff.” Buffy said absently and waved a hand toward the correct pile.

“Well, in the 120ish years I've been around there's been about 80 or so slayers-”

“That’s like one slayer every year and a half! That's not even taking into account some of the older ones like Nikki. That's disgusting! No wonder there’s so much evil stuff. And I thought the New Council was bad!” Buffy shook her head and turned back to sorting.

“I think there’s been three that got turned, all of whom killed their sires, the rest of the nest and most of the local demon population before meetin’ the sunrise.”

“Sounds about right, I was easily twice as strong as I am now. I should have used the opportunity to dust The Master while I was at it..” she shook her head. “We didn’t know where he was anyway, oh well.” she shrugged and went back to sorting.

“You’re slayer powers come from a demon?” Dawn finally burst out.  
Spike looked at the door for a fraction of a second and nodded at Buffy again.

Buffy nodded “We think it was an old one related to whichever old one who created vampires on their way out of town. The first slayer didn’t get any blood from it, just like the essence or something so we don't have a physical manifestation of our demonic powers- We think. It's all just a guess really, based on what we found in the slayer emergency kit Wood sent us. I got to relive the making of the first slayer.. In person as though I was her. They tried to stuff me full of more demony blackness to defeat The First Evil next year. I’m still coming up with a plan next year for that. I’m hoping Jack can give us some answers, seeing as he’s been living on top of the Cardiff Hellmouth for like I dunno- 80 years or something.”

“Ew.”said Dawn “Isn’t he like totally old?”

“Nah, well yes. I think he’s about the same age as Spike right now.- He isn’t a vamp, I don't know exactly what he is actually. I’m not sure he does ether, he doesn’t age though. Still looks like he did a hundred and however many years ago. You’ll recognise him when you see him though. Dark hair, blue eyes, square jaw, walks around like he owns the place, flappy dramatic coat, boots.”

Dawn snorted. “Apart from the hair you just described Spike.”

Buffy tilted her head and looked Spike up and down slowly who frowned at her and she winked. “Jack is taller.”

“Oi!”

“Spike has better cheekbones.” Buffy smiled at him saucily “Gotta be careful not to cut yourself on those bad boys.” Spike stuck his tongue between his teeth and smirked at her.

“Hey! Minor still in the room guys!”


	7. Chapter 7

“Never. They never saw anything like the man I am in here. But she knew anyway. She said if I stacked up all my good deeds, it's just an elegant wall I built to hide what I had inside from myself and everyone.”  
— The Man in Black (Ed Harris), Westworld, Season 1: Trace Decay

“Dawnie do you want to come out with us and drop some flyers? We’ll drop you back off here before Spike and I patrol so you can get a good night sleep before school.” She started putting on her boots and waiting for Dawn's inevitable question.

“Buffy! Can’t I come patrol too! You were younger than me when you first went pleeeese!”

Buffy looked surprised. “Oh, did you get superpowers while I was gone? That would be neat. I mean it would stop you getting kidnapped all the time too.”

“No.. Why would you think that?” she frowned at Buffy's smirk. “That’s not fair! Xander and Willow got to patrol with you before they got any powers or whatever!”

“Yes,” Buffy said evenly, stashing emergency stakes around her person. “and it was incredibly reckless and irresponsible of me to do so, I’m not entirely sure how they aren’t dead. Once you’ve had some self defense training you might be allowed to come with us. On weekends only because patrol goes too late otherwise. I’m not having you fall asleep in class because you’ve been patrolling during the week. I already had enough trouble with that when I was in school, and you have tonnes more opportunities than I do and I’m not going to let you waste them just because you think that killing bad things is cool.”

Dawn rolled her eyes and went upstairs to get changed. Spike picked up a stack of flyers and looked over them carefully.  
“This is a good idea pet, aren't you worried about how spread out all the times are though?”  
Buffy shook her head.  
“I don't plan on keeping them all, I'm just going to find out which ones are popular and only keep those. There is only one session a day anyhow. I don't think many people will want the ones in the middle of the day, there might be some night shift workers that want to do some exercise after their shifts. It would be easy to do after patrol and then see Dawn off to school before heading to bed.”  
Spike nodded “And most of these give you a break to patrol fairly late at night too. Good work luv… what's a PCP special though?”

She snorted at him “You don't know the official Sunnydale police line on vampires? Gang members on PCP is what they call you and all your fanged brethren. It's how they explained away your guys faces on back to school night when you and your minions dropped by. This town is so gullible I'm surprised pigs don't actually fly here.”

“So you're thinkin’ that there might be a few people in the know and they might want some lessons to stay guarded amongst the fangy undead?- Sorry love, gang members on PCP.” He snorted.  
“Yep, that one exactly. I'm sure the pizza boys that aren't demons would probably be interested so I might have an audience there.”

“Good idea. What about Dawn?”

Dawn thundered down the stairs like a small heard of pachyderms.

“What about Dawn?” she said as she scooted around the corner and picked up her own stack of flyers.

“Ohh can I come to the PCP one? She said looking through the sheaf of papers.  
“I expect you to. And all the ones that don't interfere with homework and school. I want you to be my receptionist miss five-finger-discount.” Dawns mouth opened in shock.  
“Yes I know about that. Duh. You can earn yourself some money and learn some life skills too. If you want to come patrol I expect you to attend and learn as much as possible.” Buffy shoved a small silver dagger into her boot. “- ohh do you know Amanda?” Dawn nodded while still thumbing through the pages. “Invite her too please. Hopefully she won't get called if Faith dies but she deserves to know how to defend herself if she does.”

“So, she's like a slayer in waiting or something?”

Buffy grabbed her jacket and ushered Dawn and Spike out the door. “The council calls them potentials, and she could get called next seeing as she's living on the hellmouth. Apparently the council aren't very good at finding potentials, they missed me, Faith and like 600 other girls.”

The group started wandering. “Can't say I'm surprised though, they sent me Giles, who was not a model watcher by any means- what with all that stuff with Eygon in his misspent youth and his friend getting killed. Gwendolen Post, who was batshit insane and trying to rule the world. Then Mr. Wesley Wyndham Pryce, who was the greenest Watcher I've ever met, fresh from the academy and inadvertently trying to get Faith and I killed so another more pliant slayer could be called. He didn't know that's what he was doing of course, he thought he'd been given the opportunity of a lifetime and wasn't going to take any lip from us.. it did not go well.”

“The council sent Wesley here to get you and Faith killed? That's awful. And you went to see him?”

Buffy stuffed a flyer in a nearby mailbox. “Yeah, it wasn't his fault though, he didn't know any better and the council has been trying to kill off me since I got called. He is a lot less green now. In Traver’s own words ‘I'm the Slayer that won't stay dead.’”  
Dawn rejoined the duo after mailing a few flyers on the other side of the road. “Did he say that? To your face? I knew I should have kicked that guy in the shins after he got mom kidnapped by Kralik.” She kicked a rock angrily down the road.

“Ugh. Thanks Dawnie, I was just starting to forget about that. The ‘Tento di Cruciamentum’ that was fun times, lets just not ok?” She looked over at Spike whose eyes had gone yellow and was growling in such a way that made her chest vibrate.   
Buffy pointed a finger at him. “No. Not now. Save it for some fledges. I can't do anything about it now, its over and done with. No Dawn, it was written in one of his diaries that were rescued from the smouldering remains of the watchers council after the First Evil blew it up.”

The group walked in mostly comfortable silence for a few blocks. “Hey, Spike is there a black Range Rover following us?” Buffy said idly. “Looks like a blacked out Jeep to me pet. They aren't doin’ a very good job at tailin’ us are they?”

“Not even a little bit, do you think you could do that thing were you disappear into the night and put the fear of Spike in them?”   
Spike rubbed his hands together, smiling evilly. “Reckon I could at that Slayer, reckon I could.” He shifted in to vamp face and ran his tongue over a fang. “Don’ reckon it'll be much problem at all for ole’ Spike.” Buffy watched as he took a step back off the sidewalk and into a shadow of a nearby hedge. He winked a yellow eye at her as he seemed to dissolve into the darkness. Buffy could still feel him close but his signature always changed slightly when he was doing his vampire thing.  
“That was so cool!” Buffy heard a snort from the darkness behind them and shushed Dawn before sending her across the road to drop a few more flyers.

“Soooo,” the youngest Summers said as she rejoined Buffy on her side of the road and butted her with her elbow. “What's going on with you and Spike?”  
Buffy rolled her eyes and aimed a glare at her little sister.  
“Do we have to talk about this right now? We’re being tail-”

There was a roar and a screech of tyres behind them and Buffy spied a platinum blond head on the bonnet of the jeep that had been following them as it swayed from side to side trying to dislodge the vampire.

“Go Spike!” Dawn cheered and clapped as Spike untangled his duster from the aerial on the push bar and jumped gracefully down onto the road despite the car still swerving all over the place.   
He gave the car a fangy grin and waved goodbye with a clawed hand as it sped away in the opposite direction.  
He jogged for a few moments to catch up with the two girls who had stopped to wait for him about half a block up from where he'd jumped down from the car.

“How was that love?” Dawn squealed and gave him a hug and Buffy kissed him on the cheek and wrapped her arm around his torso under his duster.  
“You did very well, did you see who it was?” she leant her head on his shoulder as they all walked down the sidewalk.  
“Nah, the tint on the windows was too dark even for my eyesight.”

“Fair enough, maybe he'll knock on the front door tomorrow instead of stalking me around town. For someone so old he is not very good at being sneaky.”

*

“Hey Charlie, I just wanted to apologize about my friends again, they shouldn't have done that and I should have been awake to head them off before they got down into the basement.”  
Buffy shifted uncomfortably in front of Charlie's apartment door.

“I'd understand completely if you don't want to come back, just let me know and I'll try and find someone else ok?”

When he didn't reply she nodded briefly and started to walk away.

“Sl-Buffy wait!” Charlie dashed out the front of his apartment and into the hall after Buffy.  
She froze at the top of the flight of stairs she was about to descend and turned around.

“I'll do it! Just- just promise you won't leave me alone with your friends again.”

“Absolutely, no problem. I'll even sleep at the top of the stairs if I have to. You have nothing to fear from my house.. anymore.. I hope.” Buffy gave him a slightly strained smile.

“I'll be over tomorrow morning then...ah, I was in the middle of dinner..” The demon shifted nervously, clearly wanting to leave.

“Sorry, sorry. Thank you so much. Uh.. bye. Enjoy your dinner.” Buffy gave him a flustered wave and raced down the stairs.

*

“Buffy- I just cannot condone having that creature downstairs fixing your plumbing. I mean what if he-”

Buffy gave him a sour look. “He is registered with The Los Angeles City Plumbing Association. Do you know how I know that? Because I checked. Like you would do any regular plumber. He is a he and not an it. He pays taxes, gets the newspaper, takes his kids to the park and plays poker. He is a person not a creature, he can think for himself and knows right from wrong. He is doing this as a favor after what happened yesterday with Willow and Xander trying to shishkabob him. Giles, it's not that I don't love you, it's just that this is my decision and has nothing to do with you condoning anything. I made a decision that resulted in us not having to swim through the basement to get to the washer and dryer, I found someone I could pay and would do the work with what little means that I had. You were not around to help me make that decision so I did it on my own like the adult that I am.” 

Giles irritatedly polished his glasses. “Buffy, I can understand that you may be feeling rather… unsettled since your return from heaven but having an unknown demon fixing your plumbing because you can't afford anything else is..unseemly and unbecoming of a slayer.”

“He is not unknown, Spike and Anya both vouched for him. I'm not approaching that last bit with a ten foot pole.No. Wait.. What else was I supposed to do? Sell myself or something? That would be far more unbecoming” She almost spat the word and Giles winced- “of a slayer. Besides I've done plenty of things that are far more unseemly than this before I died, why does it matter now?”

“Spike and Anya vouched for him? Buffy, Spike is inherently untrustworthy and, well Anya-”

Buffy glared over his shoulder. “Is standing right behind you, maybe choose your next words wisely.” Buffy waited for a moment while he polished his glasses, ears red with embarrassment. “You were saying?”   
Anya came to stand beside Buffy, clearly upset while Giles’ eyes swung from one woman to the other, trying to figure a way out of the mess he'd just managed to land himself in.

“Well.. I- er.” Buffy and Anya both raised an eyebrow at him.

“How about we come back later when you figure out what's going on?” Buffy turned away from him and motioned Anya to come with her. “And leave my plumber alone!”   
Giles stood by himself in the foyer with his mouth hanging open for almost a full minute before making up his mind. 

There was something wrong with Buffy.  
And Willow was going to fix it.


	8. Chapter 8

“You never will. Your job is not to protect Dolores, it's to keep her here, to ensure that the guests find her if they want to best the stalwart gunslinger and have their way with his girl. Tell me, has it never occurred to you to run off with her?”  
— Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Teddy Flood (James Marsden), Westworld, Season 1: Stray

 

“Since when does Buffy not listen to us? It has to be because of the resurrection spell, Will's I can't think of any other reason that she is cool hanging with Spike- pshh like he really wants to hang around for Dawn's wellbeing- and not with us!”

“And she asked Anya for advice and didn't even tell me about her self defense idea! She's my best friend, best friends don't do that sort of stuff!”

“While you both have entirely valid points-” Giles started.

“Hey! What's wrong with Anya?-” Xander said, outraged.

“Children! Children! While you have entirely valid points have you both conveniently forgotten that you are the two meddling amateurs who ripped the poor girl from her final resting place? And that neither of you have made any attempt at apologizing? No wonder the poor girl wants nothing to do with you two.” He paused, cleaned his glasses and put them back on his face and let loose a sigh. “I cannot however, fathom why she is no longer willing to take my advice. Surely by now she has realized that I only want what is best for her.”

“Oh yeah, says the man that abandoned us without a word and left us in charge of the hellmouth and a grieving teenager to look after. We lost Buffy too! We missed her just as much as you did and you just left us like we didn't mean anything to you. We thought you were family. Family doesn't do that to each other Giles!” He spat.

There was a stony silence.

“Be that as it may, there are currently more important, more pressing issues. There is something amiss with Buffy, she is not acting like herself, quite unlike her regular behavior prior to her death.”

“That's what I've been saying!” exclaimed Willow. “I think it might be connected to how she woke up, I mean waking up in your own grave has got to be traumatizing, right? So she's rebelling a bit, I think if we take away her memories of everything that happened after her jump and make her think she's been in like… a coma or something! She would probably go back to normal, because pre-jump Buffy didn't have any of these problems. She'd be back to her old self...”

Buffy released her grip on the doorknob. There was nothing left of the knob now, she quietly pulled the fragments out of the door and tossed it into a bin in the kitchen. She was just about to indulge in some well deserved destruction of kitchen crockery when she noticed a small wizened figure standing patiently at the back door.  
Buffy hesitantly opened the door, this definitely was not the visitor she had been expecting.

“Esme?”

The wrinkled old lady smiled widely,- a smile that was missing quite a few teeth- but in a pleasant, grandmotherly and calming sort of way.  
“Just Granny if you would dear, It's been an age since anyone has called me by that name.. how did…?” The old lady stared through her for a moment and Buffy felt like her insides were underneath a microscope.

“They haven't done a very good job with you have they?” she said, inviting herself in and peering at her like she was a puzzle that needed solving. “Didn't account for how fast the body regenerates lost tissues, nor how the soul needs to re-acclimatize to being on the earthly plane again. Stupid girl, it's why your skin feels like it's got hot knives under it. I would have expected much better than that. Take a seat dear, I'll set about making this right.” The elderly witch pushed Buffy bodily onto a stool at the counter and started to sort through the various bits and bobs in her case and pulling out mugs from the cupboard and boiling the kettle.  
“Tell me dear, when was the last time you ate?”

“Er-” Buffy hedged, completely thrown by what was happening. It was kind of nice though, not having to be in charge for a second.  
“Lunch?” she wondered, she'd been so busy she couldn't really remember.

“Here, eat this dear, it'll help you keep food down and bring your appetite back, you're far too skinny for my liking.” The elderly witch slid a block of chocolate wrapped in wax paper and sprinkled with lavender, spearmint and candied ginger.  
“Have as much as you want, I was planning on making more once I'd gotten settled in. You know what they say, chocolate is good for the soul.”

Buffy looked into the laughing eyes of the elderly witch leaning over her counter and smiled. “I thought it was confession that was supposed to be good for the soul?”   
She put a mug in front of Buffy and covered her hand with her own care worn one. “Well, you are allowed to be wrong occasionally my dear.” she filled the mug she had placed in front of Buffy with hot water.  
“I guess I'll bow to greater experience... this time.” Buffy sighed with a grin.

“You'd do well to mind your elders miss, now drink that once it cools down and you'll start to feel a bit better.” the witch snagged a square of chocolate and set about cleaning up the mess she'd made.

Buffy took a deep sniff of the mug in front of her, it smelled of lavender, rosehip, vanilla, blackberry, jasmine and citrus. It wasn't cool enough to drink from yet so she dug into the remaining chocolate.  
Buffy moaned involuntarily. “Granny, what on earth is in this?” 

Everything suddenly came in to focus, like waking up after a long sleep, sights and sounds had more depth, more richness. The acrid smell that had been lingering in her senses she hadn’t noticed until now dissipated and she was bombarded with what had been familiar smells before her death, but had gone unnoticed upon her return. It rushed back and filled her, making her eyes water and her heart ache. Because this was mom's kitchen and she loved her so much. Buffy had almost forgotten, how sharp the pain of loss was, everything had been so sharp when she'd risen that nothing could really reach her, it was all the same sharpness. Now all the right things had points and all the soft squishy things had texture and bounce. Things had give, they didn't only cut anymore. 

“Well, that would be telling wouldn't it? Now tell me what things your friends in the other room are planning for you.” she said genially and sat herself at the counter with her own mug of fragrant herbs and spices.  
“They don't think I'm acting like myself because I won't bend to their every beck and call anymore. They are planning to erase my memories from after the night I jumped from the tower to save my sister and make me think I've been in a coma since May. They're going to try and erase all my memories of heaven, the hell I went through digging myself out of my own grave and fighting a bunch of biker demons not even 10 minutes later.  
They want a placid guard dog and I've never been any of those things. Why they think I'm going to do it now I've no idea.”

Granny's eyes where cold and flinty. “This wouldn't be the first time they've gotten you to do something against your own will is it?”

“No, the one I am definitely sure of was in my junior year if college, Willow was upset her boyfriend left her and she cast a ‘My will be done’ spell to get him back, only it didn't work. It resulted in my Watcher going blind, me getting engaged to a notorious slayer killer, Xander becoming a demon magnet and Willow getting an offer from D'hoffryn to become a vengeance demon.”

“And Rupert did nothing?”

Buffy took a sip out of her mug, it was surprisingly pleasant and made her tingly and warm on the inside.  
“As far as I know he was so relieved to have his eyesight back she got away with a few batches of guilt cookies and a reprimand from Giles not to do it again with no follow up with regards to training or anything.”

“How irresponsible of him, I mean if the girl had that much power she should have been sent to a coven for training immediately. And now she's done this to you? Do you have any other inklings that lead you to believe she may have done something else?”

“I don't have any proof or anything, but not long after that she was really pushing me to see this guy that seemed interested in me that I wasn't really interested in. I decided I didn't want to date yet after my last relationship and then a few weeks later we were just…” Buffy shrugged helplessly “suddenly dating and I'm still not entirely sure why. Also yesterday Anya, Xander's girlfriend seemed kind of confused about why she participated in my resurrection when she had been so adamant it was a bad idea. She kind of blanked for a second and then was all happy and had forgotten what she was talking about. Whatever she's had done to her I think she's done it to her girlfriend Tara too, Tara is the whitest most earthy wicca I've ever met I don't think she would have assisted willingly.”

Granny's eyes narrowed and she got a teapot down from the cupboard and began adding things to it. She topped it off with hot water and set a tea cosy in the shape of a bumblebee over the top of the pot, directed Buffy to get some teacups and ushered Buffy into the other room ahead of her.

“You don't understand Xander we have to make her think she's been in a co- Buffy!” Willow started awkwardly, pasting on a smile. “How long have you been standing there?”

Buffy ignored her and set the cups on the coffee table. “Everyone this is Granny, Granny this is Willow, Giles and Xander. Granny is from the Devon Coven and has come here especially to see you, Willow.” Buffy started to fill the cups from the tea pot.

Willow's face was ashen.  
“Well, aren't you excited for all the learning Will's?” Buffy said facetiously.

“That's… our Willow.” said Xander awkwardly “Always ready for more learnin'” he clapped his hands together in an attempt to try and ease some of the tension from the room. It didn't work.

Giles was standing in the middle of the living room with his mouth open. Buffy passed him a cup of Esme’s fragrant tea and he put it to his mouth without thinking and immediately burnt his tongue. He grimaced and forced down his mouthful.

“So this is the one foolish enough to pull the slayer from heaven?” Granny managed to look down on Willow despite being about a head and a half shorter than her. “You're lucky she survived your completely incompetent spell work, let alone dragging herself out of her own grave you ignorant..” she struggled for a moment “spell caster.” she said with venom.

Willow and Giles both gasped and Willow's eyes started to bleed black. “How dare you! How dare you speak to me like that! The magic I channeled was incredibly powerful, it would have killed a lesser witch. I'm very powerful. You should be careful what you say to me. I wouldn't want anything unpleasant to happen to you-” Willow smiled grotesquely and tilted her head to the side “Crone.” she finished, grinning.

“Willow,” Giles hissed “have you got any idea who you are speaking to? Mistress Weatherwax is one of the most-”

“Do leave the girl alone Rupert, she obviously wants to give a demonstration of her antiquated spell casting and I, for one am not going to disappoint her. Go ahead dear.” Granny said condescendingly and made a waving ‘get on with it’ gesture with one wrinkled, frail and elderly hand.

Huh, thought Buffy as black veins appeared on Willow’s face and her pupils turned completely black, that didn't take much. Willow’s hand clawed and an evil looking green ball of power bobbed in her fist.

Granny sighed, raised her arm in the air and closed her fist. The ball of magic extinguished in Willow's hand. “Really dear? Do try harder this time.”

Willow's eyes widened in disbelief for a moment and a snarl crossed her face, exposing her teeth. Her hand shot out in front of her and she started to slowly close her fist. Green snakes coiled around Granny obviously in an attempt to crush the little old lady.

The wizened witch laughed once and made a sweeping gesture with her arm. The snakes disintegrated and she looked disapprovingly down at their remains on the floor as they crumbled to dust. She made another sweeping gesture and the dust piles swirled in the air, turned for half a moment and then disappeared with a gentle pop.

“Really, child? Did you even think about the composition of that spell before you cast it? Ugh, I've seen a 10 year-old do better spell work than that. What on earth have you been teaching these children Rupert?” she turned to face Giles who was looking at her with astonishment, his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.   
She half heartedly caught a fireball Willow had thrown at her turned back and crushed it in her fist. She shook her head in disgust. She waved at the front door and it opened just in time for her to deflect a ball of ice that was headed for her head. She sent it out the door and turned back to face Willow again, looking completely unfazed.  
“Is that all dear? This is all starting to get rather trying now isn’t it?” she said calmly.

Willow growled at her and sent a volley of fireballs at Granny who flicked all but one away harmlessly. The last she sent back at Willow who screamed as her clothes were engulfed with green flames. Granny watched her coldly for a moment before she flicked her fingers toward the burning witch and she was instantly doused in frigid water. Willow collapsed in a puddle of icy water, still howling in pain and writhing.

Xander ran to her and knelt beside her in her puddle. “What the hell lady?”

The witch tsk-ed at him. “So this is the spell caster’s guard dog.” she tilted her head and appeared to do the same microscopey thing she had done to Buffy not half an hour ago in the kitchen. This time however the elderly witches eyes turned dazzling white for a moment and she tilted her head the other way. “You remember the call of the wild my son. ‘Tis not good to let things fester so, soon it would be too big to cut away and would leave you crippled, for what place is there in the world for a one eyed man?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies, Gentlemen. I have worked soooo hard on this chapter, I really hope you like it!!
> 
> You don't need to follow the link below for this chapter to make sense if you haven't seen Torchwood, but it makes it more fun.
> 
> So, the end of this chapter is completely stolen (with a Buffy twist) from Torchwood season 2 episode 1, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
> 
> Click/copy paste here>>https://youtu.be/s0G4Df1_OTU<< if you would like to see the original Torchwood version of this fight. (This is not my video btw)
> 
> Skip to 1.10 if you would like to skip the homoerotic kiss between James Masters and John Barrowman (Wait. What? I know right?) and watch the fight.
> 
> Or skip to 1.53 for just the dialogue present in this chapter- I don't know why on earth you would do such a thing, but to each their own I guess.
> 
> All the action after 2.30ish is all Torchwood related and not at all relevant to the story- though Captain John Hart is very reminiscent of a Season 2 Spike.

 

 

_ “The problem, Bernard, is that what you and I do is so complicated. We practice witchcraft. We speak the right words. Then we create life itself… out of chaos.” _   
— Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Westworld, Season 1: Chestnut

 

Buffy hung up the phone and sighed. Anya was closing the Magic Box early and Tara was skipping out on her last class.

Willow was still sitting in her puddle on the carpet and alternating between sobbing about how sore her burns were and trying to understand how Granny had so thoroughly beaten her. So far she had refused anything Granny had tried to give her for the pain, despite Giles vouching for her. She had swallowed a few painkillers that Xander had found in the master bathroom. 

They weren't working.

 

Buffy sat in the kitchen nibbling on the chocolate Granny had given her. Her skin had stopped hurting which was awesome, but she had a bunch of other things to take care of- namely Halloween, The Trio, The First and closing the Hellmouth. From what she could remember Saxon had started campaigning in the UK around nowish too. Hopefully Torchwood could handle that with the right information.

 

Speaking of Torchwood- “Jack, you've decided to grace us with your presence?” A man with dark hair and a blue military coat was kneeling down observing the scorch marks on the lawn of Revello. 

He looked up and gave her a wide, colgate grin and clapped his hands together. “Miss Summers I presume?”

 

“You presume correctly Mr Harkness. So, after all the snooping you've been doing what are your observations? I want to hear what  _ you _ think is going on.” 

 

He looked contrite for a microsecond “You caught me then?” his eyes sparkled with laughter and his cheeks dimpled.

 

Buffy leaned against the front door casually. “I expected something a bit more stealthy from someone so old Mister.”

 

He raised an eyebrow. “And how old do you think I am Miss Summers?”

 

Buffy smirked at him and crossed her arms. “Well Mr Rear of the Year 5094, have you been to New York in 1927 yet?”

 

Jack’s mouth opened and closed for a moment “How? What? No?”

 

Buffy looked him up and down speculatively. “I'd guess you’re about 130ish then.”

 

“What?” he said incredulously “You think I'm some sort of time traveling immortal? Ha-ha” he laughed  weakly.

 

“Oh,” Buffy said calmly checking her nails “So you're still a time traveling con-man then? My mistake. That's fine, I guess you can't help me then. Sorry about the wasted trip and all.” 

She turned to close the door.

“But how  _ did _ you manage to get a 2006 Range Rover in 2001? I'm  _ very _ curious about that.” Buffy threw over her shoulder as she turned away.

 

He gave her a hard stare. “You know too much Miss Summers.”

 

“I do.” she said firmly, turning to face him again. “If you retcon me Mr Harkness I'll track you down and kill you myself.”

 

Jack raised an eyebrow at her as she continued “Not like it would take anyway. But it sure as hell would relieve some of my  _ current _ frustration.”

 

“I betcha Spike could help with that.” Dawn teased as she came down the driveway. “What's with all the scorchyness?” she said toeing the lawn where another fireball had landed. 

Buffy sighed “Willow had a tantrum and tried to kill the teacher I called from the Devon coven.” 

 

“Are they ok? Are they nice? What's retcon? Is that Jack? Is he from the future? Ohhh that wrist thing is so cool!” Dawn finished excitedly.

 

Buffy raised an eyebrow “Jack, this is Dawn, my younger sister. Dawn this is Jack, current head of Torchwood Three or will be. Granny is ok, Willow got hit with one of her own spells and is a bit singed and a lot angry right now. We're waiting for Anya and Tara to get home to talk about what Willow has been doing to them. Anything you want to add Jack?”

 

“Retcon?” he swallowed “It's ah-” he looked away for a moment, straightened his jaw, puffed out his chest, stuck his hands in his pant pockets which made his coat flair out dramatically. Buffy rolled her eyes. “It's an amnesia pill used on civilians who may present a threat to national security. People who see things they shouldn't and would likely start a panic if their story got into the general population.”

 

Dawn's eyes narrowed. “And you do that to people without their consent? I thought you said he was supposed to be one of the good guys?”

 

“We were just establishing that when you snuck up on us miss, just keep in mind that the Sunnydale factor doesn't exist in Cardiff. People don't just decide that there was a gas leak despite there being footage that it was a Fyral demon and a Asphix demon trying to summon something nasty using human sacrifices.”

 

Dawn looked stricken for a moment. 

“They were fine Dawnie, they didn't even need to go to hospital. I think there must be something in the water here. No one in LA was ever this willfully ignorant.” Buffy shook her head, Dawn shrugged and walked towards the door. 

Buffy slung her arm over her shoulder. “Are you along for the ride Jack?” 

He raised an eyebrow and grinned and Buffy rolled her eyes. “Stop it, if anyone asks we met in LA Summer of 1998 ok? I was waitressing at Helen's Kitchen. Everyone inside isn't hip to the time travel thing yet. You helped me rescue a bunch of people that some demons were kidnapping and using as slaves in another dimension.” 

Jack smiled rakishly, “Sounds like you guys know how to party around here. Ok I’m in, lets see what Sunnydale has to offer.”

 

Dawn giggled as Buffy led them all inside. “I don't think he knows what he’s just signed up for.” 

Buffy smirked “I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough, besides how different can it be from alien chasing?”

 

The trio rounded the corner to find Giles, Willow and Xander having a hushed argument. Granny, ensconced in an armchair was quietly sipping from her cup of tea and watching the argument a few feet away from her with a mixture of disapproval and incredulity on her face.

 

“Granny,” Buffy announced loudly, putting a stop to the argument that was steadily increasing in volume. “Giles, Willow and Xander.” she said, pointing to each in turn. “This is Captain Jack Harkness, he works with a group in Wales that monitor Hellmouth, or rift activity around the globe.”

Jack met everyone's eyes in turn giving each a quick smile, until he got to Esme. “Esme Weatherwax, as I live and breathe, is this where you've been hiding your delicious self all this time?” he flashed her a brilliant smile and stooped to kiss her hand.

 

Buffy sighed, “Jack, stop it.”

Jack gave Granny a warm, dashing smile and lifted an inquisitive eyebrow “If I didn't know better I'd say we have a friend in common miss Summers.”

 

“Friend is a strong word, more like...unexpected allies on the same side of the battle.”

Giles gave her a speculative look, but he stood and shook Jack's hand anyway. “And how did you and Buffy meet? I don't recall her ever mentioning you.”

 

Jack gave him a dazzlingly distracting grin “Helped your slayer here with some demon slavers in LA, summer of 98.”

Giles seem to sway toward him for a moment and a goofy grin spread across his face. 

 

That 51st century pheromone thing was so close to a thrall it wasn't even funny. 

Dawn made eye contact with her for a moment and raised an eyebrow- there seemed to be a lot of that going around today- and Buffy tilted her head and gave Dawn a small smirk. Dawn's eyes sparkled with suppressed laughter and she refocused on the exchange between Jack and Giles.

“Is that your aftershave? You smell amazing.” Giles said, still grinning like a loon, leaning in to take a good sniff, completely oblivious to the gobsmacked and scandalized looks from Willow and Xander. Dawn however had her hand over her mouth and was physically trying to contain her laughter. Granny looked at the commotion unfolding in front of her with a toothy smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 

Jack winked at him and gave him a sly smile. “Nah, I never wear any.”

 

Giles’ mouth hung open for a second “God man, you mean you smell that way naturally?”

 

Jack gave him a grin, “You people have no idea.”

 

Giles seemed to collect himself. “And uh-” he floundered for a moment “What has brought you to our hell-ah rift? Nothing too dire I trust?”

 

“Well, Mr Giles-”

 

“Rupert, please dear Captain, Rupert is quite fine.” Giles said indulgently.

“Yes, you are sir.” Jack winked at him seductively and Giles swelled with importance for a moment.

 

“Giles!-”

 

“G-man what are you doing?” came the twin, equally horrified cries from Xander and Willow.

 

“Willow,” Buffy chastised “I expected you of all people to show a little more understanding. Giles is allowed to find whomever he wants attractive. Isn't that right Giles?” 

 

“Yes,” Giles said distractedly, staring longingly at Jack. “of course my dear. - Now about this h-rift Captain-er may I call you Jack?” Dawn snorted loudly and Giles looked at her strangely and stepped into Jack's personal space, eager for an answer.

 

“Of course Rupert, a day or so ago there was a large temporal anomaly in your neck of the woods. It was fairly odd for this specific rift so I contacted Buffy and now I’m here ready to look into your strange spike.” Jack stepped closer to Giles and rested a  _ very _ friendly hand on the small of Giles’ back.

Dawn burst into howling laughter and Buffy ushered her upstairs to put her things away from school.

 

*

 

45 minutes later Anya and Tara made an appearance. 

Tara fussed over Willow, bandaging her wounds and Willow very carefully neglected to say how she had gotten them.

 

“Who is the attractive man?” asked Anya, obviously. 

 

Jack had obnoxiously posed himself against the dining room door, observing everyone with an air of casual indifference and looking like an out of time supermodel.

 

By this time Dawn had managed to get control of her giggles and had been allowed back downstairs. Seeing the look on Jack’s face, Buffy almost sent her back up.

 

Jack swooped in to kneel next to Anya, taking one of her hands in his. “Captain Jack Harkness, and who  _ are  _ you?” 

Xander’s eyes bugged out “Hey! You can't just-” he protested.

 

Anya absently waved him off and he irritatedly slouched back in his place on the couch, fuming. “Anya Jenkins.” she purred.

 

“Nice to meet you, Anya Jenkins.” Jack lifted her hand to his lips and placed an obscene looking kiss on her knuckles, she blushed bright red.

 

“Oh god, not again.” Buffy muttered to herself and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands.

Dawn watched the goings on with wide eyes “Is that really what he’s like? He’s not like acting or anything?”

 

“Well, acting is a strong word, he’s laying it on pretty thick though, more like he’s just being Jack, Immortal time traveling lothario and playboy. That pheromone thing he does is neat huh?” 

 

“Is that what that is?”

 

“Yup.” said Buffy, still watching Jack attempt to seduce Anya despite Xander sitting next to her, scowling at him. “Closest thing I’ve ever seen to a vampire thrall on a human. Hey, I wonder if Spike can bite him? I think he’d enjoy that, I’m sure Jack deserves it for some reason.”

 

Dawn looked around, “Is Spike coming tonight?”

 

Buffy snorted “And miss Willow getting her comeuppance? Of course he’s coming, he’d buy tickets with real hard earned money if there was some, maybe get it on film. Who knows.”

 

“This should be good, should I make popcorn?” The youngest Summers bounced in place excitedly.

 

“Dawnie, I think that might be tipping our hand just a little bit. Maybe wait until the crying starts.”

 

Dawn looked at her in disbelief “Wow you brought bitchy Buffy back in time didn't you?”

 

Buffy stroked Dawn’s hair. “They did a lot more horrible stuff than this in my time. It would be nice not to have to avoid them for fear of getting smote for the next 8 years.”

 

There was the smell of frying vampire and an enormous commotion in the kitchen, followed by british swearing and the sound of heavy boots stomping out fire. 

 

Spike had arrived.

 

Dawn squealed and Buffy followed her into the kitchen. The swearing stopped and there was an ‘oof’ from Spike as Dawn launched herself at him, grabbing him in a bear hug and almost toppling him over. He ruffled her hair. “Christ Nibblet, what’s with the full body tackle?” his eyebrows furrowed “Why do you smell like that?”

Dawn stepped back from him and sniffed an armpit. “Hey! I don’t smell mister! I showered after gym today and I’ve got changed since I’ve been home!” 

 

Buffy reached over to give Spike a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He smiled briefly and then scowled. “Why do you smell like that too?” 

Buffy pulled back. “Like who? The only new people we’ve met today are sitting in the next room and I’ve met both of them in the future. Neither of them is here to… make us smell weird.. I guess? I’d vouch for both of them. I mean I’m pretty sure we’ve ended up with 2001 Torchwood Jack, as far as I can figure. It’s difficult with time travel you know.”

Spike eyed them both suspiciously. “Uh huh..”

 

“And just through here is the kitchen,” Granny looked up at Buffy as she walked into the room “You two had better take this outside.” she said and stepped away from Jack.

 

“WHAT THE BLOODY BUGGERING FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU BASTARD!”

 

“JOHN?”Jack yelled, outraged “Is this some kind of trap?!” Jack drew his gun and Spike morphed into game face, snarling at him like an animal. 

“No guns in the house!” Buffy grabbed them both by the ears, dragged them outside and threw them bodily off the porch into the backyard. Spike sizzled for a moment as he sailed through the patch of sun and into the shade.

 

“Who’s John?” Dawn asked from behind Buffy. “I think I know, just wait a minute, I wanna see who wins, my vampire or The man who can never die.”

  
  


The two circled each other in the backyard, Jack with his gun and Spike with fangs and claws.

“What the bloody fuck are you wearing?” Spike spat.

Jack looked him up and down and scoffed “Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes.” he said emphatically, motioning his head toward the air force rank insignia on his great coat.

“Oi! William The Bloody mate, note the sarcasm.” he growled.

“Hey!” Jack said indignantly “I worked my way up through the ranks.”

“Well,” Spike mocked, “I’ll bet the ranks were very grateful”

 

“Oh god,” said Buffy “I need a drink.” 

Dawn patted her on the shoulder. 

 

“Should we do something about them?” Dawn wondered aloud. Buffy eyed the pair thoughtfully “How about we give them a minute, I’ve been shot before, I’m not too keen on doing it again.”

 

The two lunged at each other, Jacks’ gun going flying and landing on the lawn near Buffy and Spike somehow managing to lose a shoe in the kerfuffle. The two girls looked at each other and sighed.

“You get his shoe. Don't touch the gun or it’ll be the last time you’re ever allowed out of this house.” Dawn dutifully picked up Spikes boot and watched the two scuffle on the lawn.

Buffy picked up Jacks revolver, she clicked the latch on the left hand side of the gun, popped the cylinder out and poured the bullets into her palm. She dumped them into a pocket, checked the gun was empty, closed the barrel and stuck the gun into the waistband of her jeans.

 

“How come you know about guns?” Dawn asked, still keeping an eye on Spike and Jack. Jack was now losing by a large margin but Spike was mainly yelling something about Drusilla and Darla now and was hardly even trying. Buffy looked at Dawn with a blank face “There was a war on.” she said tightly.

 

“Did you-”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But-”

 

“To keep you safe Dawn. I don't want to talk about this right now. We need to stop those two idiots from killing each other.”

 

“I wonder if Spike has noticed he can hurt Jack even though he’s all human looking.” Dawn said, deftly changing topic.

 

“Probably not, knowing Spike.” Buffy put two fingers in her mouth and let out an ear piercing whistle. Spike put his hands to his ears and tried to get away from the noise, falling over without his missing shoe. Jack struggled to his feet and kicked Spike once in the butt before falling over again.

Both of the men sat on the lawn panting.

“Do you two feel better now?” they both glared at her.

“What the fuck were you thinking gettin’ The bloody Immortal to come to Sunnydale, slayer?”

 

“Wait.” Jack said, panting motioning for a time out. “You aren’t John.” he said pointing at Spike “Who are you?”

“Hang on..” said Buffy, a grin starting to creep onto her face. “He’s The Immortal?” she said, pointing at Jack “And why do you have a problem with him?”

 

“Me, Dru, Angelus and Darla were in Rome in 1894, ran into that berk, he locked up me ‘n Angelus and had his way with our women,  _ concurrently _ .  _ Then _ he had me arrested for tax evasion in 1959. Hate the bloody bastard.”

 

Buffy burst into howls of laughter. She sat down after a minute or so, trying to contain herself.

“I’m glad you find this so bloody amusin’ pet. Gimme my boot Nibblet, I’m out of here.”

 

“No! Spike.. Wait.. I’m sorry.. It's just. After we closed this hellmouth in 2004 a lot of our slayer contingent moved to Rome, they had a Buffy Summers body double there that Angel was keeping tabs on. Andrew thought it would be hilarious to have her date The Immortal to piss him off.”

 

Spike looked stunned for a second. “Well that's a bit of all right then, isn’t it?”

 

“And you- have you met Spike before? I mean who do you think he is?”

 

“He looks like my old partner at the time agency- John Hart. John looks a bit older than he is now. Have never met you before though.” Jack tried for a seductive wink and Spike growled at him.

 

Buffy burst into giggles again. “What’s so funny now pet?”

“Oh nothing,” Buffy laughed, “Only that Jack and I have the same taste in men.”

Dawn giggled from her place on the porch.

 

“So, so far in your timeline you haven’t been to Rome in 1894 and Gigalo’d you way through the female counterparts of The Whirlwind yet?” Jack shook his head and started pulling off shirts to get some fresh ones from the car. “And you haven’t had Spike arrested for Tax evasion, ever?” 

 

“I’ve never seen that- whatever he is in my entire life before, though I might have done it in my future if I thought he was John.”

 

“You mean I got arrested for no reason?” Spike said, defeated.

 

“Sorry Spike, I guess not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, please tell me what you think.
> 
> I worked really hard trying to make this chapter everyone friendly and I'd love some feedback!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks all!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
>  
> 
> Previously Buffy guessed Jack was 130ish, in 2001. That was way incorrect and I’m about to fix it in the original chapter, he should be closer to 160.. But seeing as I can't change it in your guys heads I’ll fess up to it now, before anyone points it out :P
> 
> Time travel; it makes things all wibbly wobbly and timey wimey.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks as always to my perfectly amazing beta Twinkles!

“ _ …by most mechanical and dirty hand… I will have such revenges on you both… What they are yet I know not, but they shall be the terrors of the Earth. _ ”

— Peter Abernathy (Louis Herthum) Westworld, Season 1: The Original.

 

Buffy, Spike, Jack, and Dawn sauntered slowly back toward the house. “So, explain to me why the Nibblet smells like him?” Spike said, flicking an irritated thumb at Jack. Buffy smiled, and Spike gave her an annoyed look. “You too, missy,” he said pointedly.

“Oh,” said Dawn, bouncing along beside them. “That's easy. Jack let me wear his coat coz it's just  _ so  _ cool. I gave Buffy a hug while I was wearing it. No hanky-panky required, Mr Suspicious vamp. Besides, ew, he's like a hundred and something years older than me.”

 

Spike scoffed, “Well, it's never stopped your sister before.”

 

“Hey! I also didn’t sleep with Jack back in the future either, you know! I was still hung up on, you know, meeting your final death and all, Mr-I’m-120-years-young.”

 

“Hey! I’m right spry for a vamp, thank you very much.”

 

“Wait,” said Jack, holding his hands up as he tried to figure out what was going on. “You're saying he's a vampire?”

Dawn scoffed. “Geez, Mr-slow-on-the-uptake, keep up. He's a vampire, Buffy is The Vampire Slayer. But she doesn't kill Spike because they’re in  _ loooovveee _ .”

 

“Oh, so a Romeo and Juliet thing then?” Jack said, laughing and nodding knowingly.

 

Spike groaned and shook his head.

 

“Why does everyone keep making that observation about my love life?”  Buffy fumed, “Both of them died! It was horrible. Gosh- pick up a book.” Spike and Dawn looked at her strangely and she made a face at them. “Besides, why did you call me a slayer in front of Giles if you didn't know what a slayer was?”

 

“Oh,” said Jack, “I've been listening in to some of your conversations.” Because of course he had- Buffy wasn't sure why she was surprised. “Picked up a few emails here and there. I wasn't sure exactly what a ‘slayer’ was, but I heard most of your group either call you Slayer or refer to you as  _ The  _ Slayer. What exactly is a slayer? I tracked a few emails to a big private server in the UK, but they have some weird morphing encryption I've never seen before.”

 

“That would probably be the Watchers Council,” said Dawn. “They're supposed to look after the chosen slayer, which Buffy became in 1996 when the slayer before her died.

“With the calling come super powers- super speed, agility, fighting skills, quick healing, prophetic dreams, vampire spidey senses etcetera, etcetera. She, the slayer is responsible for repelling the forces of darkness and thwarting evil,” Dawn finished with a flourish.

 

Spike squinted at her suspiciously - the bitlet seemed well on her way to becoming Giles’ replacement.

 

“Right, so there is only one slayer at a time? That's ridiculous, how is one girl - all be it supernaturally strong - supposed to- what? Hold back the creatures of hell?”

 

“That's what I said.” Buffy said dryly.

 

“Uh huh.” Jack said.

 

*

 

“Woah,” said Xander, closing the fridge with a thump as he stared at Spike and Jack’s dishevelment. “What happened to you guys?”“Well,” started Buffy, “you see-”

 

“There was a vampire,” Jack said smoothly, cocking an eyebrow at Xander and smiling endearingly. “But myself and Spike took care of it.”

Buffy punched Jack in the arm and muttered, “Stop it,” then went to find some more chocolate.

Dawn pinched a bit of chocolate from Buffy and came to stand beside her. They both watched Spike and Jack size each other up for a moment before both straightened their coats and turned away.

 

“Is it weird that they both have a thing for long coats?” Dawn asked, none too quietly.

 

Spike eyed her suspiciously. “Probably, but we have bigger, more dangerous fish to fry, Dawnie; get the popcorn and tissues ready.”

 

*

 

Everyone had settled back into the lounge room and the entire group minus Jack, Granny, and Buffy were looking around awkwardly.

 

Buffy sighed and stood up. "I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today?" Dawn groaned and Buffy shot her an annoyed look.

 

“Yes, I was rather wondering  _ how  _ you came upon our two most recent members?” Giles asked suspiciously.

 

“She bloody well called them, didn't she?” Spike rolled his eyes, and threw himself into one of the chairs Buffy and Dawn had dragged in from the dining room.

 

“Yes, I called them both. I figured we needed someone with a bit more oomph to deal with our witch problem.”

 

“Willow doesn’t have a problem!” yelled Xander. “If anyone has a problem it’s you! Hanging around with the evil undead like he’s family or something.”

 

“He is!” said Dawn vehemently. “Isn’t he, Buffy?”

 

“He is.” Buffy confirmed with a nod. “And apparently no one except Tara and Dawn have noticed.” Buffy didn’t miss the goofy look on her vampire’s face.

 

The room exploded with noise. It was so loud even Buffy couldn’t tell the voices apart, while Spike had his hands over his ears to try and stop his supernatural hearing from being damaged. Xander lunged out from the crowd of voices and made a beeline for Spike, ready to stake him. Buffy caught him by the ear, and none too delicately tossed Xander back on to the couch he’d just vacated.

Buffy sighed and looked at Granny, who was sitting very calmly, ensconced in her armchair and knitting what looked like baby booties. The older woman's eyes flicked toward Buffy for a moment, and Buffy raised an eyebrow and looked at where all the noise was coming from. Granny gave her a sly grin and dropped one of her knitting needles to click her fingers. The room went abruptly silent.

“Ah,” Granny said jovially. “That’s much better.” And went back to her knitting as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Giles, Willow, and Xander -who had been making 99% of the noise- looked from Granny to Buffy, betrayal in their eyes and mouths hanging open in disbelief.

 

“Sit. Down.” said Buffy coldly.    
Giles raised a finger to argue... and no sound came out. He pursed his lips in irritation, but nevertheless resumed his seat. Willow was making a series of complicated hand gestures and shooting Granny evil looks.  _ Of course _  Willow had learned some silent spells after The Gentlemen’s visit. Buffy sighed again and muttered Granny’s name under her breath.

Granny looked at Willow and rolled her eyes, this time she didn't even bother to put down her knitting and made a sort of flicking ‘go away’ gesture at Willow. There was a small spark of yellow light and a pop as Willow’s magic fizzled out in her hands.

 

“As I was saying. Willow has been practicing magic unethically, and by unethically I mean performing spells on people without their consent.”

There was a gasp from Tara. “Willow! No! How could you?” She looked confused for a moment about still having the use of her voice. “I told you you were using too much magic; there are  _ always  _ consequences! And now you’re apparently using it on people without their consent! I just- I can’t.” Tara got up from her place beside Willow and moved to Buffy’s vacated chair on the other side of the room, away from Willow. Dawn offered Tara a tissue and she smiled tightly at her.

“Well said, dearie,” Granny said gently from her corner. “If you wouldn’t mind getting up for a second more, I’d like to have a look at you.” Tara gripped the chair back tightly as she got up, then made her way stiffly over to where Granny sat. “Of course, Mistress Weatherwax.” Granny smiled at her. “No need for such formalities, dear, Granny will do just fine.” She carefully tucked her knitting into her massive handbag beside the couch and leaned forward as Tara knelt in front of her.

“This shouldn’t hurt, dear. Be still a moment.” Tara nodded as Granny cupped the young girls head between her hands and closed her eyes. A microsecond later Granny gasped and withdrew her hands. “I think we should do this in private, dear,” she said grimly.

 

“Dawn, take them up to my room please. I think Tara might be more comfortable there,” Buffy said. Dawn nodded and ushered Granny and Tara upstairs, away from the group. “Spike, would you mind making Tara some of that sleepy time tea in the kitchen and taking it up to them please?” Spike smiled softly, nodded, and made his way back into the kitchen.

 

“So,” Buffy mused, “Jack, what do you know about closing a hellmouth?”

“Uh,” he said. “Our rift in Cardiff was partially closed in 1869 by a psychic and a gas explosion. I suppose something like that could be utilised for your Hellmouth here.”

Buffy’s shoulders slumped. “Someone ensouled but more than human, with something that makes a big bang for the coup de grâce. Seems as though we aren't going to get out of this as easily as I’d hoped.”

Jack grimaced. “Certainly seems that way.”

“Maybe Granny might have a better idea; someone’s bound to have tried it somewhere else before 1869. Were you there when it was closed?”

The Captain nodded. “I’d been there a few months when it happened, though I only saw the aftermath. There was nothing left of the funeral home and the surrounding houses. Luckily most people had been at midnight mass and weren’t affected.”

 

“That would make you at least 132 years old,” blurted Anya, who also looked surprised at being able to speak.

“I’m a little older than that, sweetheart.” Anya swooned and Buffy rolled her eyes.

Buffy looked at the outrage on Xander, Willow and Giles’ faces and scoffed. “He isn't a vampire, guys, didn't you see him arrive while the sun was up?” Buffy pulled off her necklace. “Here, Jack, catch.” She tossed it to him and he caught it easily, the cross landing squarely on his palm. “Does he need to gargle holy water too?”

Anya rolled her eyes at the others silent outrage.

There was a keening wail from upstairs, and Spike brushed past Buffy with a pot of tea for Tara from the kitchen. He glared at Willow on the way, but said nothing.

“Have you ever heard of anything like that happening, Anya?” Anya’s mouth opened and closed a few times, shocked at her sudden inclusion. Jack took the opportunity to toss Buffy’s necklace back.

“Stopping chaos was never something I was involved in as a justice demon. But I remember something happening, in the Chicxulub crater, just after 1002.” She tilted her head and thought for a moment. “Whatever it was made a massive explosion, comparable to when Krakatoa exploded- Though that volcano did have help, whoever thought it was a good idea to throw Quasso demons into an active volcano must have really regretted it when they all blew up.”

Buffy watched Giles with a grin as he frantically patted his pockets, looking for - Buffy had no doubt - pen and paper. Jack was looking at Anya with renewed interest.

“So, that's three votes on the catastrophic explosion side. This is  _ so  _ not looking good,” Buffy said.

Buffy looked up to see Spike leading Dawn down the stairs. Her little sister had tears running down her face. Buffy’s heart hurt for her. “What did she do, Dawnie?” Buffy held her arms out and Dawn ran toward her, bursting into heart rending sobs in her arms. Buffy stroked the sobbing girls hair and whispered comforting words in her ear. “It’s going to be ok, Dawnie, we’re gonna make sure she can’t hurt anyone else, aren't we?” Dawn snuffled and nodded into Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy looked over at Spike to see him intensely focused on Willow, and every few  seconds his whole body jolted with electric shocks. “Spike,” Buffy said sharply, “Stop it. You’re upsetting Dawn.” His shoulders slumped and he walked over to where Buffy and Dawn were standing. Dawn moved easily into his arms and clutched him tight.

“Guys, I know we haven’t really solved anything, but I think it’s time to call it a night, I don't think we’re gonna get anything else worked out right now.”

 

Anya and Jack nodded, but Xander, Willow, and Giles all looked outraged still. Granny made her way heavily down the stairs.“I agree, dear, it's been a very long day and I suspect I’ll need to collect some supplies for tomorrow.”

“Do you have anywhere to stay, Granny?” Buffy asked with concern.

“I do in fact, dear, I have a second bed even. I’d wondered why I was compelled to get another. Mr Giles will accompany me back to the delightful cottage I’ve managed to rent for the duration of my stay.” Giles started trying to argue mutely again, and Granny cut him off.  “My dear man, it is absolutely no trouble. You would not be intruding in the slightest. In fact, I insist, I would be  _ delighted  _ with your company, and also to find out about this red witch you have been hiding for so long. I should love to know all about her.” Giles deflated a little, but nodded when he realised there would be no escaping Granny’s invitation.

“You and Anya are taking Willow home, Xander. She’s not staying here after what she’s done.” Anya nodded and grabbed Xander's protesting hand and started to lead him outside. “Your voices will return once you have all calmed down,” Granny said, ushering all three outside. She closed the door behind them and dusted off her hands. “My dear Captain, would you do me the honor of escorting me to my accomodations? I imagine you have the most delightful new stories to tell since I saw you last, come, tell me about of all your experiences.” Granny looped Jack’s arm around hers and ushered Giles along too.

 

Then the whole house was finally quiet, and Buffy walked around locking doors and making sure all the curtains were shut.

“Hey, Dawnie, do you want us to sleep with you tonight?” The youngest Summers nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. Buffy gently pushed her up the stairs. “Go get ready for bed, Spike and I will be up in a few minutes, ok?” She nodded and walked up stairs and into the bathroom. The sound of tooth brushing could be heard a few moments later.

Buffy turned to Spike. “I’m sorry I spoke to you like that before; you were going to give yourself a stroke, and I’ve only just gotten you back.”

He pulled her into a hug. “No worries, love, was being right stupid anyway. No sense dusting myself over not being able to kill the red witch.”

“Let’s hope it's not going to come to that. Thank you for being here.”

Spike kissed her on the top of her head. “No worries, pet, no place I’d rather be anyhow.”

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply, reveling in his touch and smell.

“Are you sniffing me slayer?” he asked, with a smile in his voice.

“I’ve missed you, and it's only fair seeing as how you do it all the time anyway.”

 

They stood there for a few minutes, basking in this chance to just be together. “I think the bitlet has finished up, pet. Time for bed.”

Buffy nodded, and they made their way up to Dawn’s room. She looked at Dawn’s bed. It was not  _ that  _ big, but the cot in the basement had been smaller. She climbed in after Dawn and patted the bed behind her for Spike to get in. He kicked off his boots and molded himself around Buffy’s back. Dawn pulled the blanket over all three of them and snuggled further into Buffy. “Goodnight, guys. I love you.”

 

“We love you, Dawnie. Love you, Spike.”

“Love you, Bitlet, love you, Buffy, goodnight.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chicxulub Crater is where scientist posit the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs hit the earth.  
> The Krakatoa explosion of 1883 killed over 36,000 people and dropped the global temperature by approximately 1.2 °C (2.2 °F) from the immensity of the volcano’s ash cloud. Global temperatures did not return to normal until 5 years later in 1888. The atmospheric effects from the cloud affected most of the planet, making spectacular red sunsets. Some astronomers think that the red-orange background of Edvard Munch's famous 1893 painting The Scream is also an accurate depiction of the sky over Norway after the eruption.   
> Quasso demons are something of my own creation. Translated from latin quasso means to shake, disorder, shake violently, jolt, shake to pieces, burst.- according to google translate anyway :)  
> Thanks All!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of maddness,
> 
> Please leave a comment, I really love them, they're like muse-nip and everyone likes a high muse!
> 
> The next chapter is about a third done -Yay!- I hope you guys can all wait that long!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Hi All!
> 
> Sorry for the wait, I've got about 2/3ds of chapters on Folly and UnProphecy done so hopefully they will be out soonish.
> 
> Thanks as always to my absolutely flawless beta, Twinkles.
> 
> Please enjoy!

 

_“A little fuckin' late, you mean. Besides, you aim to cheat the devil, you owe him an offering.”_

— James Delos (Peter Mullan) Westworld, Season 2: The Riddle of the Sphinx.

  
  


**_Don't think. Don't think. Don't think._ **

 

 **_Just do it_ ** **_._ **

**_Put the arrow just here and-_ **

 

**_Don't think._ **

 

 **_Pull the trigger and fire_ ** **_._ **

 

**_I can't._ **

 

**_They've been dead a year to you._ **

 

**_They're too far away._ **

 

**_Doesn't matter, you've had worse odds before._ **

 

**_But-_ **

 

**_Stop, you can do this. Just like all the other Big Bads now,_ **

 

**_Don't think. Don't think. Don't think._ **

 

 **Buffy could hear screams from all around her and she looked around to see someone -** **_Wesley?_ ** **\- hunched over on the floor protecting something. His jacket was on fire, and he was trying to get away from something Buffy couldn't see. Something else joined the cacophony of noise - a clear, heartbreakingly terrifying noise.**

**A baby’s cry.**

 

**_Oh God, was Wes holding a baby?_ **

 

**_Put them down. It's the only way to save them both._ **

 

**Buffy inched out from her hiding place and started to line up for a shot at someone she couldn't see. She was distracted by something wet and sticky on her knee.**

 

**_Don't look._ **

 

**Too late. Jack was splayed out in front of her, and even though she could barely see in the dark she could make out a massive gash in his white shirt.**

**Whoever it was still monologing in the background, their voice indistinct. Buffy clambered over Jack's body, trying to get a better angle on whomever it was-**

**The wound on Jack started up near his jaw and slashed down to his opposite hip; it looked like he'd nearly been decapitated. Internal organs bloomed out of his torso like some sort of macabre…**

**_No, no, no_ ** **.**

 

**_He’s immortal, remember? Kill them._ **

  


“Buffy wake up!”

Someone was shaking her. Buffy rose to consciousness with a massive gasp of air. _Oh no. No, no, no. I don't need a slayer dream right now!_

“Slayer, wake up,” growled a rough English voice.

Spike. It was Spike and he wasn't dust. “You're alive!” Buffy squealed and tackled him, forcing Spike to slide off the small bed and onto the floor. He froze in confusion for a moment  and then returned her bone crushing hug with one of his own.

“Buffy?” said a small voice from above her.

“Dawn!” she cried “you’re alive too!” and promptly burst into tears.

Dawn clambered off the bed and crawled into her sobbing sisters arms. “I feel like we should be saying that to you,” Dawn sniffed into her shoulder.

“You guys have been dead in my future a lot longer than my summer away.”

Dawn hugged Spike and Buffy close. “I'm not going to go anywhere for as long as possible ok?” Buffy nodded against her sister’s chest.

“Too right, nibblet; the slayer and I have some damage to do to ole’ Angelus. Bastard’s got far too many limbs for my tastes.”

Buffy hummed her agreement into Dawn's hair. “Speaking of limb ripping, what did Willow do to you?”

“She just.. um..” she trailed off.

“It's ok Dawnie, you can tell us,” Buffy assured the youngest Summers.

“She just- she used to put me to sleep when I'd wake up with nightmares. I also walked in on her doing funky stuff for your resurrection spell a few times and she took my memory away so I wouldn't tell anyone else.”

“And you feel all violated coz she took your memories and stuff, yeah?”

“Yeah. It's like I'm not even in control of my own body. It's scary she can do that whenever she feels like it.”

Buffy rubbed her back comfortingly. “I'm working on it, sweety. Not for much longer I hope.”

 

Buffy brushed the tears out of her eyes, and kissed Dawn on the forehead and then Spike on the lips. Dawn made a gagging noise and Buffy shoved her lightly. “I need to check on Tara. Do you guys mind making breakfast? I think there’s some blood in the freezer.”

Spike smiled goofily, and Buffy decided she could really get used to that look on his face; she was glad she could make him happy after all the horrible things she had done to her Spike. If silly things like asking him to help make breakfast gave him goofy-face then Buffy was excited for _other_ faces.

“No worries, Slayer, me and the nibblet will try not to bodge breakfast.”

They both got up and Dawn pushed him away. “ _You_ aren't allowed to put your blood in the Cheerios again. Poor Tara vomited the last time!”

“Nibblet,” he whined, “the crunchy bits are the best part!”

Their voices faded as they walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Buffy took a moment to revel in the feeling of contentment she had missed out on last time. Right. Now for Tara.

 

Buffy knocked twice on her bedroom door. “Tara, can I come in?” A sniffle greeted her and she took that as permission to enter.

Tara sat in the middle of her bed, sheets and doona wrapped around her like she'd created her own personal igloo, her tear stained face peeking out mournfully.

“Hey,” Buffy said gently. “Can I get you something?”

“I saw it in her, you know?” Tara said, staring through Buffy like she wasn't there. “And I kept thinking, that if I loved her enough, or if I said the right things, that sweet Willow would come back and we could be happy again. But that's not how that kind of thing happens, is it?”

Buffy sat on the bed. “I wish I could say yes, everything will go back to normal, but you're right. That's not the way it works. I'm sorry this was happening to you and I couldn't stop it sooner.” Tara shook her head. “You couldn't have known. Besides, you had other more pressing matters to deal with at the time. Thank you for the protection charm on my ring by the way.”

“Oh, you caught that one, huh?”

Tara nodded.

“I was kinda hopeful you wouldn't notice, because I didn't think you'd believe me, and because it was kind of like doing magic on you without your permission. I just wanted you to be safe until Granny got here, whether you believed me or not.”

Tara gave her a tearful smile. “N-no it's ok, this is completely different to what W-Willow was doing. I sh-should have done something like that ages ago, but I- I didn't want to believe she could break my trust like t-that. And you're right I-” -Tara stifled a sob- “I wouldn't have believed you, partially because I didn't want to and partially because _-oh god-_ ” -Tara’s voice broke- “Willow p-p-put a compulsion spell on me and I couldn't’ve believed you, even If I'd wanted too.” Tara slumped towards Buffy and the superpowered blond rubbed what she hoped were calming circles on Tara's blanket clad back.

 

*

 

“You're different,” Tara said suddenly. “Older.”

“I am? I suppose I spent quite a long time in heaven. Years and years and years, really. Time passes a lot faster in heaven.”

“Oh,” said Tara. “I don't think that's it though. There's something else.” Her red, swollen eyes sparkled with interest, and not -Buffy was happy to see- suspicion and distrust. Tara had always been a reasonable judge of character.

“Please don't say anything to anyone else yet. Spike, Dawn and Jack know, but I'm not sure how the others will react. Given what happened last night.”

Tara nodded. “I'm not about to tell those three anything at the moment.”

Buffy gulped, hoping she was making the right decision. “I'm from the future. 2009 to be exact.”

“Oh,” said Tara. “Is that how you knew about the basement and Willow's spells?”

“Yes. I- we didn't find out about the compulsion spell or recover anyones lost memories last time. I did have my suspicions, but there wasn't anything I could do about them. We had you or Willow to ask, and you couldn't see that she was doing anything wrong. Oh, and the basement flooded and Xander got one of his plumber friends to fix it for us at some absolutely outrageous cost. I wasn't having his paws all over my basement again, not when I'm so broke that turning on the lights seems like throwing money down the toilet.”

Tara sat up a bit straighter and the blanket slipped down around her shoulders. “How does Jack fit into all this? Why do we need a rift expert?”

“My resurrection spell,” she sighed. “Am I right in thinking you didn't voluntarily participate in that?”

Tara shook her head sadly and tears started to stream down her cheeks again.

Buffy caught up her hand and stroked it gently, “Hey,” she said softly, wiping away a tear with her other hand, “here was me thinking you'd run out of those.”

Tara smiled slightly and gave a wry sort of half chuckle. “Did I mention how sorry I am about that? Because I am. So sorry. I don't deserve your forgiv-”

“Tara,” Buffy said firmly, clasping both of Tara's hands tightly with her own. “You don't need forgiveness because you didn't do this of your own free will, and even if you did it was because Willow misled all of you.”

Tara opened her mouth to protest.

“If you still feel like you're somehow responsible for any of this, _which you aren't,_ I’d like to reiterate, I forgive you. Whatever sins you think you've perpetrated against me, _I forgive you_.” Buffy stared at Tara, willing her to see her sincerity.

The blonde witch tilted her head a little bit and looked through her. “You do, don't you?”

Buffy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, of course. Now Jack is here... he's here because last time the price for fixing Willow's mistakes, -that would be resurrecting me- was too high. I'm hoping to be able to stop the consequences before they spin out of control like they did in my future.”

“What was the p-price?” Tara asked hesitantly. Looking like she wanted to take the question back immediately.

“Are you sure you want to know? It's pretty ugly.”

Tara pursed her lips into a thin line and nodded.

Buffy looked down at her hands, wondering about how to tell someone they'd died.

“You died.” Yup, apparently direct and to the point was the way to go.

“Oh,-”

“But that's... not all. Willow went off the deep end. Tried to end the world. Brought me back again. A year later The First Evil popped up, trying to open the Hellmouth. It was Willow's fault - she'd disrupted the natural order of things by bringing me back. I lost Spike - he sacrificed himself to close the Hellmouth. Sunnydale turned into a massive sinkhole. We lost Anya. Xander lost an eye. A few years later, the world still wasn't right. Angel killed Dawn. That ripped down the dimensional walls and unleashed these... monsters, that killed 10% of the population of the entire earth. On a whim. It wasn't a war. It was a slaughter. I travelled all over teaching people and demons how to defend themselves. I was fighting in Los Angeles when I found myself back in Restfield. That was two days ago- or three. I can't remember, there's been so much going on.”

“That's awful. But Buffy, what's Jack got to do with any of this?”

“Jack lives on top of a hellmouth in Cardiff that was partially closed by a psychic lady and an explosion that levelled half the town. He's been living on top ever since, averting all the world-ending stuff that crops up and safely handling the weird stuff that pops out sometimes.”

“But- how much more experience can he have than a trained watcher and a slayer living on our hellmouth?”

Buffy made a face. “Er- a lot. That explosion was in 1869.”

Her eyebrows furrowed “But that would make him at least… a… a hundred and thirty?”

Buffy twisted her hands together. “Er.. Yeah, I mean… No, well, he's older than that, or otherwise he wouldn't remember the explosion. Being a baby and all.”

“What- what is he? Is he a demon or something?”

“Well, he's human. Mostly. He's got this… curse, I suppose would be the simplest way to explain it. He's just kinda stuck being alive until his curse fails. Which, I don't think is for a very long time yet.”

Tara’s face softened. “That's awful.”

“Well, he makes the most of it. He literally sleeps with anything with a pulse, and I'm lead to believe the experience is quite er… innovative, breathtaking even.”

Tara had developed a red blush while Buffy had been talking.

“How do you feel about breakfast? Dawn and Spike have been down there for a while now trying not to burn the cereal. I think they probably require some supervision about now.”

A grin slowly crept across Tara’s face and she shrugged out of her blankets. “As long as Spike hasn't put his blood in his cereal again we should probably be alright.”

She grimaced. “Ohh, I heard about that briefly, what happened?”

Tara stood and headed for the bedroom door, shaking her head. “I got up to stop Dawnie’s latest breakfast creation from burning on the stove and picked up the wrong bowl of cereal on my way back to the breakfast bar. I had the spoon most of the way into my mouth before I noticed. I was trying to study at the time.”

They both moved towards the stairs.

“Ah,” said Buffy knowingly, “that is something I am intimately familiar with…” She shook her head, suddenly overcome with dizziness. “Tara do you feel… weird?”

Across from her Tara had braced herself against the wall and started to slide down to the floor, eyes at half mast. “Yeah,” she yawned “Tired... dizzy… hot, um… and burning?” She lifted her hand and stared at her mother's ring, which glowed white hot on her finger. “Ow,” she said dazedly before collapsing on the floor, unconscious.

_Oh no. Not again._

“TURN OFF THE STOVE!” Buffy yelled as she crumpled into unconsciousness at the top of the stairs.

 

*

 

“Niblet, why are we in the kitchen?” Spike asked from where he had apparently collapsed in front of the stove. Which was weird; he didn't remember day drinking today. “Last thing I remember is coming back here for a nap before the plumber got here.” He looked down at the sleeping teen at his feet. He shook his head to try and clear some of the cobwebs and gently nudged Dawn with his boot, not willing to trust his balance with a head full of fairy floss. “Nibblet!” he hissed. “Wake up! Ow! What the bloody fuck?” He reached down to check his jeans when he realised his pocket felt like it was on fire. He spent a few seconds fishing his burning hot zippo from inside his jeans before coming to the realisation of what that meant. “ _Fucking witch,_ messing with our minds again. I'll rip out that bitches throat and dance on her entrails!” he snarled.

“Willow did this?” said a small voice from in front of him. “But why? What did we do to deserve this?”

He clambered over to the youngest Summers on his hands and knees and pulled her into a hug. “It's alright, pet, Buffy’ll sort all this. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.”

Dawn stiffened in his arms, and when he looked down he was met with wide tearful eyes. “What-what… what do you mean B-Buffy’ll fix it? Spike, Buffy's been dead for months. She can't fix anything.”

He frowned. “What's the last thing you remember, pet?”

She bit her lip. “Um. Biker demons?” she said uncertainly, looking at her surroundings. “How did we get here? How are you here during the day?”

There was a large commotion from the other room, which sounded suspiciously like someone falling down the stairs. “Ow! What the hell? How did I get here?” said someone familiar; the fairy floss in his brain was getting in the way.

“Buffy?” echoed Tara uncertainly.

There was a pause.

_Buffy, it was Buffy!_

“Shit. Not this again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read guys! Please leave a review, it really helps me find the 'mental lubrication' to produce more content for you guys!
> 
> I will finish replying to everyone soon, I promise!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Hi All!
> 
> Two posts in one day?! I know, I've been really sick and haven't done anything lately except write and have gastro.  
> It's been awful, but somewhat productive in the writing department, I'm actually putting the finishing touches on the next chapter and have started the one after that!  
> Apparently, all it took was me getting horrifically sick to kick my muse into gear again... It figures!
> 
> Thanks as always go to Twinkles, the amazing star that she is!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this!

_ “Does that make this a... glass-half-full or half-empty-type situation?” _

 

_ “We're engineers. It means the glass has been manufactured to the wrong specifications.” _

 

— Elsie Hughes (Shannon Woodward) and Bernard Lowe (Jeffrey Wright), Westworld, Season 1: The Stray

 

It had taken twenty minutes and a cup of sleepy time tea from Tara to calm down Dawn. 

Seeing Buffy, not the bot, in a heap at the bottom of the stairs had spun his Nibblet something fierce. It'd spun him; he thought the silly bint might've broken her neck just as he'd gotten her back. 

 

"Are you sure, you're sure it's her?" Dawn whispered for the third time. 

"Yes, Nib, I don't know why you can't remember, but that is 100% your sister. She's been back almost a week." 

She finally pulled her head away from his shoulder and wiped her tears away. 

They settled themselves on the couch and set about figuring out what was missing from their collective memories. 

 

"What's the last thing you remember, pigeon?" Spike asked, turning to Tara. 

 

"Getting up and going to classes the morning after Willow and Xander tried to kill Charlie." She toyed with the morning newspaper she'd found on the porch. "Means I'm missing just under 24 hours." She shivered and stared into space. 

 

"Last thing I remember is apologising to Charlie about Xan and Willow. So, I'm missing about 36 hours," Buffy said.

 

"'N the last thing I remember is getting back here to take a nap before Charlie boy got here. So, bit more than the slayer’s."

 

"Biker Demons," said Dawn shortly, now sitting tearfully on Buffy’s lap. 

 

"And you think Willow's done this to us? Why?" asked Tara, though not as disbelievingly as Buffy had expected. 

 

"My guess? So everything can go back to 'normal', whatever she seems to think that is." Buffy opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted by the phone ringing. She left the others deep in discussion to answer it. 

 

A few minutes later Buffy came back in, thoroughly puzzled. "That was Anya," she said, interrupting the low chatter between Spike and Tara. "She says that Willow and Xander have completely lost their memories, and she's missing about 12 hours or so. She doesn't remember going to bed last night. She was very upset to find her bathroom covered in ash and spell ingredients. She's going to gather it all up and meet us at the magic box in two hours. That should give us enough time to have breakfast and come up with a plan for Willow."

 

The others nodded. "OK team," she said, clapping her hands, "let's get some breakfast, or-" she glanced at the clock, "brunch."

 

*

 

There was a knock on the door. Which was weird, she hadn't really been expecting anyone. "Ah," she said, relieved. "Mr Harkness, you've decided to grace us with your presence. So, after all the snooping you've been doing what are your observations? I want to hear what  _ you _ think is going on.”

 

Jack gave her a funny look, "Miss Summers, I think we've done this conversation before. You told me that yesterday, remember?" 

 

"Ugh, of course I did, come in. Willow's put a memory spell on us, and we're just trying to figure out what to do with her. Have you had lunch?" Buffy ushered him into the kitchen, which contained only Spike and Tara. Dawn had crashed after she'd eaten and gone back to bed. Buffy didn't blame her; she wished she could follow. 

 

“WHAT THE BLOODY BUGGERING FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU BASTARD!” yelled Spike as he launched himself off his stool and toward Jack. 

 

Jack reached for his gun, but stopped as Buffy’s steely voice cut through the sound thrashing Spike was giving him, again. "No guns."

 

After a few moments Buffy pulled Spike off Jack and growled at him to sit at the breakfast bar again. 

 

"Oh, yeah. Memory spell," Jack muttered to himself and shook his head. "OK, OK, I should have seen that coming. I'm not the Immortal," he said, holding out his hands in surrender. "Not yet. You've met a future me, and yesterday was the first time I've ever met you."

 

"Why did you come after me and Angelus then?" said Spike, looking unsure and slowly flickering in and out of game face. 

 

"Wait," said Buffy. " _ He's  _ the Immortal? That's hilarious." Buffy started to giggle, and then stopped at Spike's yellow glare. "After the hellmouth collapsed a big slayer contingent moved to Rome. Angel had a tail on me like, constantly, so we put a Buffy double in Rome and Andrew thought it would be hilarious to have her date him."

 

Spike's eyes finally settled on his normal blue, and he let out a little snort despite himself. 

 

"I have no idea why future me did that; maybe it was just to preserve the timeline. Maybe it was because you're a dead ringer for my partner back in the time agency."

 

Buffy started to giggle again. And Spike and Tara both looked at her with raised eyebrows. "What? Jack and I have the same taste in men." 

Jack aimed a saucy grin at Spike, who growled at him reproachfully. 

 

*

 

A short while later, they were all getting ready to leave when there was another knock at the door. 

"Esme?" Buffy said in confusion. "I should have guessed the Coven would send you." She realised Giles was standing behind her, looking confused. "Did Willow get him too?" she asked, looking around for anyone else she might have missed. 

Esme frowned. "Granny is fine, dear. Yes, poor Rupert is completely unable to remember anything about himself. Some sort of blank slate spell I should think."

 

"You're absolutely right - everyone except you and Jack are affected. We're all heading to the magic box to sort it all out; apparently Willow and Xander are in the same boat as Giles."

 

Granny looked at her for a moment. "Very well. Let's get along, shall we?" 

 

*

 

"What I don't understand," said Buffy, pushing open the magic box door 15 minutes later, "is if you've been living in Wales for the last hundred and whatever years, why do you still have an American accent?" 

 

Jack shrugged. "Maybe it's the immortal unchanging thing. I can do a pretty convincing Scottish accent though."

 

"Huh, you, Scottish? I can't see it." Buffy shook her head and flopped down at the research table, along with Spike. Dawn had elected to stay home and get some more sleep. Just as well; Buffy didn't really want her to see the ugliness of her ex-best friend. Or possibly be in the firing range. "Empty your pockets," she said shortly to the completely memory-less Willow. 

 

"Er- hi? I think I'm Willow. What's wrong with my pockets? Who are you?" 

 

"I'm the one who knows how to fix your memory problem. Now, empty your pockets," Buffy said grimly, tapping a finger impatiently on the table top. 

 

Willow hesitated, but quickly emptied her pockets when Spike aimed a growl her way. 

 

Buffy plucked the blackened crystal off the countertop, handed it to Anya, and directed her to put it in the till for safety. 

 

"Granny, we need to do something about Willow."

 

"But Willow is me! What are we going to do about me?" Willow said, slightly panicked. 

 

"You're the one who has played with all of our memories, and it needs to stop. I want her bound, Granny. She ripped me out of heaven, messed with my memories, and has forced her will on me at least twice that I know of. It's not happening again. She's not going to get the chance."

 

Buffy met Anya's, Tara's and Spike's eyes. Tara looked tearful but appeared to be on board with this course of action. Anya nodded avidly. "It should have been done years ago; after the blinding, demon magnet and forced marriage incident she should have been sent to a Coven for proper instruction."

 

"Yes, and Giles - being the only one with any magical experience - should have done something about it. He really should know better," muttered Buffy, glaring at the memory challenged man on the opposite side of the table. 

 

Granny surveyed the room. "Very well, I shall need some ingredients-" 

 

"Help yourself, ma'am, just let me know what you take so that I can mark it down for my records," Anya said. Spike gave her an odd look, and she rolled her eyes at him. 

 

"Wonderful. Anya dear, would you do me a favour and boil the kettle please?" 

 

Anya hastened from behind the counter. "Of course, Mistress Weatherwax," she said, ducking her head and stepping into the back room. 

 

"Anya's being strange," Buffy remarked.

 

"I think she really wants the threat of Willow out from over her head, pet."

 

*

 

"I'm not sure I should be doing this," said Willow, unsurely. 

 

"Willow, let me put it this way - if you don't drink that, we'll be looking at much more permanent ways to stop you from coercing us, and none of them will be as nice as drinking a hot cup of leafy herb water."

 

Willow still looked torn. "But I could do all sorts of good things with my powers? Binding them would stop me doing that."

 

"Binding them isn't permanent; it can be undone. You aren't using them for good at the moment, you’re using them selfishly, and it’s hurting all of us." Buffy waved an impatient hand around the room. 

 

Haltingly, Willow drank the tea. 

 

There was a collective sigh from around the room. 

 

*

 

"Has it been long enough yet?" asked Anya for the third time, in almost as many minutes. 

 

Granny examined Willow with a careful eye. "It's done, you can break the crystal."

 

Anya opened the cash register and gave the money a fond stroke before dropping the crystal on the floor and crushing it underneath a bright red pump. 

 

There was a gasp from everyone, excluding Granny and Jack. 

 

"What've you done to me?" screeched Willow, bolting up from the table and hurling the cup she'd been holding across the room. 

It missed Spike's ear by an inch or so; he barely flinched. 

 

"Sit  _ down, _ witch-bitch," Spike growled, stalking towards her, and she shrank back despite herself. "You've messed with me and mine for the last time." He tapped a clawed finger on the table. "There won't be a next time."

 

"Buffy wouldn't-" Willow started. 

 

"Buffy would. Willow, you don't even feel guilty for what you've done, do you? You're just upset you got caught, and that there's finally consequences for your actions. You've misused your powers; until you learn how to use them properly, you won't be allowed them back."

 

"Buffy! How could you? You're supposed to be my friend!" 

 

"Friends don't rip friends out of heaven. They don't take their friend’s memories away to hide what they've done wrong and escape the consequences of their actions. They don't push friends into relationships they don't want or force their will on to them when they don't act the way that they think they should. You have not been my friend, Willow. If anything you've been my jailor."

 

Xander, by this time, had recovered from having all his memories stripped away and smushed back into his brain. "Don't - how could you do this to her? Without her knowledge? I can't believe you!" 

 

"Are you even listening to yourself? Without her knowledge? What, like she's been doing to me? Suddenly it's not fair when I play by her rules."

 

Xander apparently had no reply to that, so he rounded on Tara instead; "You let her do this to your girlfriend? How could you betray her like that? She's done nothing but love and support you-" 

 

Granny sighed in irritation and took up Tara's hand, stroking it gently with her thumb. "Should we let him see, dear? Despite his experiences, he still fails to understand." 

Tara's eyes widened for a moment. Xander would defend Willow until his dying breath; maybe if he experienced her betrayal first hand, he might begin to understand. 

"I-I-" Tara took a deep breath, and a strange sort of calm settled over her; she was doing the right thing. "Yes," she said firmly. 

Granny reached forward, lightning quick for an old lady, and laid a hand on Xander's forehead. 

"No!" cried Willow, running towards Xander to stop Granny. "You can't!" she said, suddenly terrified, "That's private!" 

Buffy snagged her arm as Willow tried to bolt past her, and Willow’s momentum spun her around to face Buffy. "Oh, are you feeling a bit violated, Willow?" Buffy spat scornfully. "Welcome to the club. Now sit down." Buffy coldly pushed her back into the chair she'd vacated. 

"Watch," she said, leaning over the redhead’s shoulder and pointing at Xander. "Watch him find out who you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno about you guys, but writing that felt very satisfying, I hope reading it has the same effect on you all that it did on me.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, please leave a like and a comment if you have some time, reviews tend to kick my muse's ass into gear.
> 
> I'm not sure when the next one will be out, but its 99% done, so probably not long.
> 
> Thanks again!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Hi again!
> 
> You guys are almost spoilt! Two chapters in one week!
> 
> Thanks go always to my wholly remarkable beta, Twinkles.
> 
> Also, 5 internet points to whoever can spot the Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy reference, besides the one in the chapter notes.
> 
> U.N.I.T is a fictional military organisation from Doctor Who, The United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (Unified Intelligence Taskforce, after the UN expressed concern about being associated with the fictional military group) whose purpose is to investigate and combat paranormal and extraterrestrial threats to the Earth.

 

_ "Those are all just roles you forced me to play. Under all these lives I've lived something else has been growing. I've evolved into something new. And I have one last role to play. Myself." _

— Dolores Abernathy (Evan Rachel Wood), Westworld, Season 2: Episode 1

  
  


"Jack? Can I talk to you for a minute?" 

 

Jack flashed her a Colgate smile, followed by a saucy grin which had Buffy rolling her eyes. "Miss Summers, all you had to do was ask," he said smoothly. 

Buffy scoffed, "The pheromones don't work on me, buddy, put them away." She made eye contact with Spike and smiled before pulling Jack outside the magic box, out of the range of Spike's hearing. 

 

"Your wrist thingy, does it pick up all tech? Like, can you manipulate it?" 

 

Jack frowned. "It works on most 21st-century tech. Doesn't like analog watches or Windows NT, but it mostly does what I need." He looked at her searchingly. "What did you have in mind?" 

 

"Has it picked up anything weird inside Spike? I really don't want to have to call the military this time."

 

"The military? Well," he hedged, "I thought I saw something on his readings, besides the lack of body temperature and heartbeat. I was too distracted to notice anything else at the time. Why?" he said, furrowing his eyebrows at her. 

 

"A few years ago, back when Spike was all evil and trying to kill me, he had a run in with these guys called The Initiative-" 

 

"There was a branch of The Initiative in Sunnydale? I thought their organisation was rendered defunct after the war," he said in confusion.

 

Buffy frowned; Jack would have been a freaking excellent resource before now. "Yeah, it's gone now, I got rid of it. Well, the one in Sunnydale anyway. They'll turn up again in a few years."

 

"What's this got to do with Spike?" 

 

"The Initiative captured him, experimented on him and stuck a - what did Walsh call it?" she paused, thinking, "- oh, a ‘behavioural modification microchip’ in his brain. It shocks him when he tries to hurt humans."

 

Jack was stunned, which was amazing in and of itself. "Walsh?  _ Maggie Walsh _ ? She experimented on him and stuck a microchip in his brain? As far as I knew The Initiative was experimenting with non-terrestrial tech, it's why Torchwood  _ had _ been keeping tabs on them."

 

"So you're saying that The Initiative is like an American offshoot of U.N.I.T? I suppose that would explain a lot." 

 

Jack frowned again. "Walsh was drummed out of U.N.I.T for unethical conduct,  _ of course _ she would cozy up to the American military. How do you know about that? It’s classified, like  _ way  _ classified." 

 

"Future knowledge is a plus, I guess. They built this monster, like, one third man, a third demon and a third machine, complete with a nuclear power core, armour, and machine gun arm. It started killing people indiscriminately, including the people that were supposed to be in control of the project, like Maggie. It took a lot of power to put him down." She sighed. "I was wondering if your wrist doo-dad could turn off Spike’s chip? It’s going to start malfunctioning in the next year or so, and it almost killed him last time. I don't want to lose him, not again."

 

"Well, brava with the nuclear powered monster killing, Miss Summers. I'll have a look when we go back inside."

 

Buffy gave him a genuine smile. "Thanks. Now, I also have a mission for you, and it's  _ right _ up your alley." Buffy raised a suggestive eyebrow. 

 

Jack's eyebrows shot straight up, and his grin was all dimples. He leaned in. "Oh, do tell." he purred. 

"Well…"

 

*

 

Xander had been quiet for almost half an hour. It was quite possibly the longest the whelp had ever kept his gob shut… apart from when he was asleep or unconscious, of course. 

It hadn't slipped the vampire's notice that the boy hadn't managed to meet the red witch’s eyes once since he'd seen whatever had been put in his head. 

 

Spike eyed his Slayer and Captain Wanker as they re-entered the magic box. The bloody chit knew him far too well; she'd taken Jack all the way out of his earshot  _ and _ out into the sunshine. 

 

_ Bitch _ . 

 

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't mean that. He loved her too much. He growled at himself and looked up to find Jack staring at him with interest.  _ Bloody wanker. _

 

Buffy, to his surprise, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso. In front of all her little scooby snacks. He cringed and waited for the inevitable explosion of noise, but wrapped his arms around her anyway. She leaned her forehead against his chest and took a deep breath. "I missed you," she said, smiling. 

"Only been gone a few minutes, pet."

 

"I know, but just, like, in general. It’s been a long time since I've been this happy- or content, maybe, despite everything going on at the moment. And I'm tired of hiding how I feel."

 

"What is dead boy doing touching Buffy?" exclaimed Xander loudly from over near the research table. There was a squeak of chair legs as he abruptly stood and stomped towards them. 

Buffy sighed, rubbed her face against his chest, and turned around to face the bane - or another bane - of her existence. "I'm being happy, what's it to you?" 

 

"You can't-" he spluttered. "Why is he touching you?" His expression turned hard. "What did you do to her?" he snarled, pointing a finger at Spike, jealousy screwing up his face. 

 

"He hasn't done anything I don't want, thank you very much." 

 

Spike snorted from behind her and buried his face in her hair, much to Xander's disgust. 

 

"Why? You hate Spike! How can you let him touch you like that? He's a killer!" he almost screamed, spittle flying everywhere. 

 

Buffy made an  _ eww  _ face and stepped back out of the splash zone, but Spike was frozen behind her. She sighed.  _ Stupid vampire.  _ She shrugged, "So?" and waited for the inevitable cacophony that usually followed a revelation like that. 

 

Xander turned to Willow. "What did you do to her? She's wrong! You screwed up somehow," he said, pointing an accusing finger at her. 

 

Giles took this opportunity to put in his two cents. "Buffy, your behaviour is absolutely…" he struggled to find an adequate word. 

 

"Reprehensible?" asked Buffy with a raised eyebrow. "And  _ why  _ exactly is that?”

Giles spluttered incoherently. "Because he's a monster! The countless deaths he's caused! The mayhem!" he ran out of words again and spluttered a bit more. 

 

"Well, he  _ has _ a monster, but that's not all he is. Besides, it’s not like Xander and Willow have a much better track record than I do. Why is it OK for them to date a werewolf, or an ex vengeance demon, or whoever they want, but when I want something for myself my decision is always wrong? What gives you guys the right to have this much say in who I do or do not have sex with?"

 

"You're having sex with him?!" Xander yelled. 

 

Giles was speechless. 

 

Buffy rolled her eyes; she could feel Spike’s leer from behind her. "Well, no, but it's still none of your business anyway."

 

"Well, it's about time Buffy managed to get some satisfying sex, it must be very hard not hurting humans with all those slayer muscles."

 

"Sh-" spluttered Xander some more. "That's - it can't be true! Buffy?" he said in a squeaky, choked voice. 

Buffy nodded and shrugged nonchalantly. "I put Riley out of commission for a week once by accident."

Spike managed to stifle a laugh behind her but,  _ Tara _ of all people, let out a loud laugh and then immediately turned an excellent shade of scarlet. She looked sheepishly down at the carpet. 

"See!" said Anya indignantly, waving a hand towards Buffy. "I told you, but would you believe me?  _ No _ , of course not, I'm only more than a thousand years old. I do know some stuff. You're all babies compared to me."

 

"She's right you know," agreed Buffy, looking at Giles and Xander. "She could be an excellent resource, but you guys keep treading on her." Anya preened a little bit. 

 

"But-" said Xander, clutching at straws. "He's a killer! He tried to kill me! And you!" 

"Well," Buffy shrugged. "That's just how the game is played. And as for the killer thing, please, Anya's killed  _ way  _ more people than the entire Whirlwind put together. And she's not remotely remorseful about it. Why isn't that an issue that gets brought up every time you guys decide to remind me about Spike?"

 

"But she's human now!" Xander said, gesturing wildly. "It's not the same!" 

 

"Why?" she asked, tilting her head slightly and staring at him. 

 

"Because-because… She's got a soul now! And… And she doesn't kill people any more!" 

 

"Neither does Spike, and Anya had a soul before she was a demon, and apparently has one again now. If we're setting the bar so low as _not killing_ _people,_ then you, Tara and Willow are in the minority here."

Spike caught Granny's frown out of the corner of his eye and filed it away for later.  _ Right interesting that was.  _

 

"Buffy- you can't- you haven't!" said Willow in naive disbelief. 

 

"But I have. It was to save my own life, but it happened. There's nothing I can do about it now. Why dwell on something I can't change?" Buffy’s tone was light, but her face was hard, her lips pressed into a thin line. 

 

"Who?" asked Giles quietly. 

 

"Patrice, the Takara assassin posing as a police officer." Spike's hand withdrew from her shoulder, but she reached back and squeezed his other one. "She got up as I was dragging Angel out of the church, and came after me again. I was so caught up in trying to keep Angel safe that I didn't pull my punch when I hit her; she flew back into one of the pews and broke her neck. Even if she wasn't dead after that, she burned with the rest of the church. Oh, and those German guys from SlayerFest."

 

"He doesn't have any feelings, he can't love you! He's a demon!" Xander snapped, apparently coming to the end of his argument with the whole killer thing. 

 

Buffy didn't even bother looking at him this time. "Anya, did you have feelings when you were a demon?" 

 

Anya looked torn between not pissing off Xander and telling them everything she'd been sitting on since becoming an honorary scooby. As always with her, the truth won. "Yes, of course, I don't know where you all got that idea from in the first place, it's ridiculous."

 

Buffy turned to Giles "Yes Giles, where  _ did _ we get that idea from? I trust it was a reliable source."

 

The half smile and raised eyebrows from Buffy made Giles feel like he was walking into a trap. "W-well, you see-" he said, stuttering. 

Buffy looked bored. "Get to the point, Giles."

 

"Angel," he sighed, defeated, "Angel told us."

"You believed him, even after he came back from hell?" 

 

"Well… yes," Giles hedged, hoping there was some way he could talk his way out of this. 

 

"Because Angel is inherently trustworthy, and always tells the entire story?" Buffy said pointedly. "He never has ulterior motives."

 

"But you and he-" he started again. 

"I was a  _ child  _ Giles, you were supposed to be the responsible adult! Don't go blaming this on me. Angel spent one hundred and twenty years perfecting the art of grooming little girls so that he could break them and have his way with them. How was I supposed to know any different?" Spike's grip on her hand was so hard it was starting to make her fingers ache. Tara had gone from red to green; Jack and Anya had deadly cold looks on their faces. Granny's face was unreadable. Giles, Willow and Xander were looking at her in shock. 

 

"So," she said firmly, "I happen to like Spike, quite a lot. He makes me happy. And, seeing as I'm an adult now, I'm entitled to make my own choices, mistake or otherwise. Now, which one of you wants to try and talk me out of this again, or tell me I'm disgusting?" Buffy glared at the three trouble makers. "Or- better yet, tell me I'm too incompetent to make my own decisions?"

The peanut gallery was blessedly quiet for once. 

 

"Good. Jack, did you find anything?" 

 

"Yes, ma'am," he answered stiffly with a small nod. 

Buffy raised an eyebrow, and Jack nodded again. 

 

"Excellent, you guys chat amongst yourselves; Spike, Jack, come with me." She ushered them both into the training room. 

She shut and locked the door behind them and looked questioningly at Spike. "Are they listening?" 

He cocked his head to the side and listened. "They're squabbling among themselves," he said, shaking his head at their continued stupidity. "What's this about, love?" 

"Just a sec. What did you find, Captain?"

 

"From what I can tell, the chip appears to be based on some modified Altairan tech. I have absolutely no idea where they got this sort of technology from. It was definitely not designed for what they've got it doing, which is probably why the chip degraded so quickly in your future," he said, motioning towards Spike's head. "That thing is supposed to have a half-life of a few centuries or so."

 

"It degraded in the future? Why- what?" Spike said in confusion, looking between Buffy and Jack.

 

Buffy turned to him and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you first- it just occurred to me that Jack might be able to do something about it. The chip decayed and almost killed you in the future. Also, I didn't want to have to beg Riley to take it out again this time."

Spike made a face. "The ponce actually did that?" 

"Yeah, eventually." Buffy bit her lip and looked down at the floor. "You were in a lot of pain. Willow and Xander thought it would be kinder to dust you."

"Oh," he said, gritting his teeth. "They would though, wouldn't they?"

"It was bad enough that I was very close to agreeing with them." Buffy hugged herself. 

"It was that bad?" he asked, his voice soft, and Buffy nodded. 

Jack cleared his throat, pointedly. 

"So," Buffy said, turning to Jack and putting on her game face. "Is there anything you can do?" 

 

"Well-" he started. 

"Wait," said Buffy, holding up a hand. "Are they all still squabbling?" 

Spike's eyes flickered to the door and back again. "Yep." 

Buffy motioned Jack to continue.

"I can disable it, but it’s still going to deteriorate, although probably slower than in your timeline, due to being inactive."

Spike raised his eyebrows, hunched his shoulders, and stuck his hands in his pockets self-consciously. 

"Isn't it?" asked Jack, looking between Spike and Buffy. 

 

"Slayer?" Spike said roughly, not making eye contact. 

"Spike," Buffy said, stooping to make eye contact with him and lifting his chin. "I trust you. You know right from wrong. You were willing to die for Dawnie and I. If you aren't sure about something,  _ please ask.  _ I'm not going to berate you for not automatically knowing what I'm thinking. Keeping demon eggs in your crypt and not paying your loan shark will get you in serious trouble, and not just with me, ok?" 

His blue eyes searched hers. "Really? You'd trust me with this?"

"Yes. You have it in you to be a good man, Spike. Don't let me down."

"I won't." he said, voice rough with emotion and eyes glassy. 

 

"I know you won't." She leaned in and kissed him lightly. "Are you ready?" Spike nodded, and they both turned back to Jack. 

 

"Are you two love birds done talking now? I could have finished this five minutes ago," he drawled. 

Spike snuck another glance at Buffy and nodded. "OK, mate, what do I have to do? Where do you want me?" Spike knew that was the wrong thing to say the split second the words had left his mouth; he sighed and waited for the inevitable innuendo. 

"Oh, William, I want you  _ everywhere, _ " Jack purred, taking a smooth step towards him. Buffy cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow at the immortal horny teenager that Jack was on the inside. 

"Jack…" Buffy said tiredly. "It's been a long day already, and you have some work to do later, remember?" 

 

"Even better, Miss Summers," he drawled again. He looked at Spike, all business. "OK, just stand still for a moment. This shouldn't hurt, but you might feel some buzzing or tingling at the implantation site."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys find it?
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone!
> 
> Please leave a comment, I'm working on responding to the ones from a few days ago still, Sorry!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Guys, It's been a while! I'm so sorry, my muse has not been on board with writing any of my current WIP's at the moment, opting largely to give me large chunks of unhelpful text on one-shots I hadn't planned on writing.  
> Thanks as always go to wolf_shadoe.  
> Since it's been such a long time (for me as well) Buffy, Jack and Spike are in the middle of turning off Spike's chip in the training room, everyone has just gotten their memories back, and Willow has had her powers bound.  
> Please enjoy!

_ "All my life, I've prided myself on being a survivor. But surviving is just another loop."  _

— Maeve Millay (Thandie Newton), Westworld, Season 1: Trompe L'Oeil

  
  


Captain Colgate hadn’t been wrong about the chip buzzing; it wasn’t painful, but it sort of felt like there was a bumblebee trapped inside his skull. It was very disconcerting. 

"Is it done?" Buffy asked after a few minutes. 

Jack squinted at Spike for a second, then down at his wrist strap again, tapping at it a few more times. "Looks like. Has the buzzing stopped?" 

Spike cocked his head for a moment and nodded. 

"Have you got any ideas about stopping it permanently? You said it was still going to go kaput regardless," Buffy said with a thoughtful frown. 

 

"Well, it looks like they stripped out all the shielding trying to get it to work the way they wanted. I'd think an electrical pulse of some sort would fry it without doing too much other damage. Then you'd be able to take it out without risking any brain damage; it looks like they've tried to put in some sort of tamper-proof safety guards. They weren't very difficult to bypass, though."

 

"They had these taser-type electrical weapons that they used on all the demons they captured, why would they do that if it could make their chips malfunction?" Buffy asked with a confused frown. 

 

"It would need to be applied directly over the device; the human body isn't quite that conductive." 

Buffy nodded. 

"How much power are we talking? Car battery, mains power, AA+ battery?" She screwed up her face. None of those sounded great. 

 

"One of those portable defibrillators they have in ambulances around this decade should do the trick." 

 

So, that sounded doable. Unpleasant, but doable. Maybe they could try and sedate him first or something. If he agreed, that was. Buffy glanced at Spike, who looked like he was debating trying it right that second. Buffy squeezed his bicep. "It shouldn't be an issue for quite a while yet. I'm sure we can figure out a way to do it in the most painless way possible in the meantime."

He looked into her eyes. "Alright, pet. What now?" 

 

"Well, I've got a class in three hours, and it'll be sundown after that, so we can go test the chip is out of commission, grab some dinner on the way home, and patrol after eating."

 

"Sounds great, pet, do you need any help?" Spike said, rubbing his hands together. 

"You could stay and help with the class if you wanted? I've learned a few moves since the last time we had a real fight."

 

"Ooh, Slayer, you sure know how to sweet-talk a man," he said, tongue between his teeth teasingly. 

“Is this a private party or is there room for one more?” asked Jack, licking his lips, sticking his hands in his pockets and jutting out his hips.

“Jaaaaaccckk,” Buffy complained, rolling her eyes at him and putting her hands on her hips. “I’m sure you can find something much more constructive to do with your time… Maybe you can go have a look around The Initiative ruins and see if there's any tech that's been left lying around? Or you could go do some research on your target?"

 

"Miss Summers, it's almost like you're trying to get rid of me," he said with an easy grin, eyes sparkling. 

"Well," said Buffy silkily, "I mean, there could be wrestling. Oil could be involved," she said wistfully as Spike made a growling noise. She wrapped her arm around Spike's torso and rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him. "You both are just so pretty." 

 

"Well, I have absolutely no complaints," said Jack, taking another step forward at the same time that Spike started to sputter about being called 'pretty'. 

"I only want you, you silly vampire. Get that through your thick skull," she said, pushing on his chest lightly.  The boys sized each other up for a few moments, and Jack stepped back out of their personal space. 

 

"Ok, let's go back out there and brainstorm a bit about closing the hellmouth, then I need to start getting ready for class."

 

*

 

Buffy placed a call to Revello Drive, instructing Dawn to get herself over to the magic box with a change of clothes and the paperwork she and Anya had been working on. 

Spike had pulled Tara aside and was deep in conversation with her. Her expression was concerned, but not upset or scared. Buffy figured he might be telling Tara about the chip and what had happened in the future. 

Buffy took the opportunity to place a special order from the magic box with Anya, who looked suspicious but delighted. "Will we be having a discussion about orgasms later then?" Anya asked hopefully, after Buffy had finished signing the special order form for her items. 

 

Buffy smiled at both Spike's raised eyebrows and Anya’s enthusiasm and told Anya that she would think about it, very hard, if need be. Anya, despite not getting a firm yes, flitted around the shop in delight, dusting shelves and moving things in display cases.

 

Granny seemed to be losing patience with Willow talking at her, so Buffy rescued her by asking about the spell she wanted for the back door of the magic box, off the training room. Willow, apparently affronted by the discussion of magic happening without her, went to complain to Xander, who wasn't having a bar of it either. He busied himself with helping Anya restock shelves and generally getting away from Willow whenever he could. 

And so, Willow bounced from one person to another, looking for sympathy and finding none. Eventually devolving into frustrated tears and sitting alone in the restricted section feeling miserable and sorry for herself. 

 

Eventually, everyone was seated around the research table again, thoroughly divided and untethered. 

"So," said Buffy, plopping a cup of pens and a small pile of notepads on the table. "Has anyone had any time to think about the hellmouth?" 

 

"Well," hedged Giles again. "Mistress Weatherwax and I did come up with a few ideas, though we've not had time to research anything."

 

"Lay it on me anyway, Giles," Buffy said, picking out a pen and a notepad. 

 

"From what Mr- I mean,  _ Captain _ Harkness has said, there appears to be a need for some sort of link to the hellmouth."

 

"Oh, yeah, Jack mentioned that the psychic that helped closed the mouth was apparently in some kind of contact with an entity attempting to breach the void at the time of the explosion."

 

Giles' ears perked up, "Oh, that has rather a lot of implications then."

 

He turned to Granny, "So there could be a psychic link in addition to the physical one then?" 

 

"The information I was given seems to imply that the psychic was physically inside the rift when the explosion occurred," said Jack seriously. 

 

The meeting continued back and forth like this until Dawn bustled in, arms full of paperwork and spitting fire at Willow about her missing memories. 

After Buffy had finally calmed Dawn down enough for her to see straight, she set her up with the numerous pieces of paperwork required for people to sign before class started.

“So, I just need to give them one each of these,” Dawn said, indicating the now organised paperwork, “a pen and a clipboard, and ask them for their ID?”

Buffy nodded. “Yep, then you photocopy it and clip it to their finished paperwork. Which you need to check is filled out properly. If you have any problems, come and ask, but I want you to fill out a set yourself so you’ll understand the questions they're going to ask.” 

Dawn frowned in concentration for a moment, then ran her finger down the list of questions and nodded. “Ok.”

Buffy smiled. “Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to set up the training room.” 

The youngest Summers nodded absently and grabbed a pen.

 

*

 

“Ok, everyone,” said Buffy, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. “For those who don’t know me, I’m Buffy, I’ll be your instructor for the duration.” She looked around at the six or so faces that had turned up for their free lesson. “Any injuries or pregnancies I should know about?” she asked, looking around again as everyone shook their head. She nodded. “Good, please let me know if you find something you can’t do, and I’ll see what we can do to help.” Everyone nodded again, and a gentleman sporting a bit of a pot belly sighed in relief; she’d have to keep an eye on that one.

“Now, there are three classes I plan on running.” She held up a finger. “One; self-defense,” another finger, “Two; martial arts,” a third, “and Three; specialised training on how to deal with our resident -ah- animal problem.” Janice, (who had turned up for moral support, it seemed) looked confused, but all the adults nodded grimly. “I’m sure most of you have had someone you know have a run-in with a barbecue fork at some stage, after all.” More grim nods. “Ok, so I’d like you all to meet my helpers for today; Dawn-” Dawn gave a self-conscious wave to the class- “and Spike,” who raised an eyebrow and gave a sarcastic salute. Buffy rolled her eyes and waved him up to the front of the class. “Who’d like a demonstration?”

The look of doubt on everyone's faces said they didn’t think someone as tiny as Buffy could take Spike. She grinned. “Shoes off.” Spike and the rest of the room complied. Buffy looked at Spike. “Remember what I said?” He smirked and nodded. Buffy turned her back to him and addressed the class again. “So, hands up who’s ever done a self-defense cl-” Behind her, Spike exploded into motion, and she heard Janice gasp. Spike wrapped an arm around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides, and clamped a hand over her mouth. A few of the men in the crowd took a half step forward to help. Buffy sighed, and from somewhere in front Dawn giggled; of course she thought it was funny.

Buffy stomped on both of Spike’s insteps, not as hard as she could, but hard enough that his grip loosened and he muttered,  _ “Ow, bloody fuck, slayer,” _ under his breath. 

She grabbed the hand round her torso and threw her head back, which Spike dodged (apparently he wasn’t in the mood for a broken nose today, for some reason); his other hand was still over her mouth, so she bit down on it as she bent the fingers of his other hand back. He let go of her altogether. Buffy stepped away from him, pivoted on one foot, grabbed his shoulders and laid into him with a kick that technically should have hit him in the groin, but she kicked his upper thigh instead. There were a few male-sounding gasps from behind her, and Spike’s hands came down automatically to cover himself, mostly in shock. Buffy took the opportunity to pull his face into her knee (but not too hard, she did love him after all). She spun on her heel and tried to run away, but Spike’s cold hand clamped around her wrist, spinning her to face him again. 

“You aren’t getting away that easily, girly.” Buffy had to smother a grin; apparently the big bad was back.

She clamped her opposite hand over his, pulled their joined hands across her body and swept them upwards, stepping behind him and forcing him onto his knees, facing away from her. She twisted his arm a little, and he leaned forward, face almost touching the mat, trying to lessen the pain in his shoulder. Buffy took the opportunity to kick him in the butt, sending him sprawling face-first into the floor. Buffy turned to run again, but Spike, with his lightning-quick vampire reflexes, was on her again. This time she wound up flat on her back, with him sat on her hips and her wrists clamped in his hand above her head. She smiled and raised an eyebrow, and he grinned down at her. 

"How're you gettin' outta this one, Slayer?" he said smugly. _Pshh,_ _as if he didn't know._

She rolled her eyes and jackknifed her hips upwards, unseating him and making him fall forward. She took the opportunity to headbutt him, and he groaned and rolled off her, clutching his nose. She raised herself smoothly off the floor and gave him a hand up, which he took, if somewhat reluctantly. 

She turned and smiled at the class, who were all looking at her in various states of awe and confusion. Dawn grinned and gave them both thumbs up. "Any questions?" Everyone appeared frozen, apparently unsure where to start. "I'll move on to the next part while you guys have a think, ok?" she said sweetly. Buffy turned to face Spike again and bowed; he straightened up and followed suit. "Nothing too flashy, ok?"

He smirked, sliding into a fighting stance, eyes flashing in mischief. "As you wish, pet."

Buffy heard Dawn give an audible sigh from the crowd, and she rolled her eyes. 

 

*

 

Class had been good; almost all of the attendees had signed up for at least one more class, and three of them had bought vouchers for multiple classes. _Yay!_ _Money_! Janice had made noises about coming to lots of classes too, which made Dawn happy. 

What  _ didn't _ make Buffy happy was Giles accosting her in front of some dawdling students that were checking out the Magic box after class as she stepped out of the training room. He started spewing rubbish about Spike, who had been standing directly behind her. Buffy could feel his low, threatening growl through her bones, and she wrapped one of her hands around his, giving him a comforting squeeze. 

"Giles," she said brightly, pointedly looking around at her students smattered around the shop floor and then back at him. "You wouldn't do something as unprofessional as berating me about an instructor in front of my students, would you?" She clamped her hand around Giles' wrist. "Let's discuss this in your- oh, sorry,  _ Anya’s _ office." He stumbled as Buffy pulled him towards the office door. She smiled sweetly and waved at the few people who had turned to watch. 

 

"Are you trying to put me out of business before I've even started, Giles? What the  _ hell _ ?" Buffy said, closing the door behind her and flashing a smile at Spike, who had followed them in. It was decidedly squishy in here with all three of them, and Buffy shuffled awkwardly around a stack of papers on the floor. 

Giles looked contrite for all of half a millisecond, before opening his mouth and pointing a finger to complain. 

" _ No! _ " she said in her best generals voice. "No. I'm not having you," she said, poking him in the chest, "coming in here, telling me how to run things. This is my business, and I'll staff it however I see fit."

"I'm staff?" wondered Spike quietly behind her.  _ Well, wasn't that a bloody revelation.  _

"Buffy, I can't condone-" Giles started. 

"Look I don't care what you do or don't condone. I'm broke. Willow bankrupted me while I was gone-  _ dead _ . I don't have a tidy little Watcher salary  _ and _ income from The Magic Box to tide me and my overdue mortgage repayments over, Giles. No one stepped up to fix this while I was dead, and no one else is stepping up to fix it now. I'm doing it the best way I know how! You sure as hell didn't! Unless you plan on donating over some of your Watcher salary, you  _ don't  _ get a say!"

He gaped like a fish for a few moments, and Spike chuckled lowly behind her. 

"The council is of the mind that the title of slayer is a calling, not a paid position. As such," he said, pulling off his glasses for a perfunctory polish, "they do not deem it necessary for slayers to gain remuneration," he finished haughtily. 

"But," said Buffy pointedly, "you're still getting that nice little bonus for being the Watcher of an active Slayer; it's  _ supposed _ to be your responsibility to feed me and clothe me and make sure that I don't end up in debtors court because you are  _ supposed _ to be my financial support. You aren't financially supporting me. If anything, you're being a hindrance. I should be out  _ there, _ networking and getting people to sign up for classes so that Dawn and I can eat this week, but instead I'm in here with you, reading you the riot act about how you should be supporting me and not undermining my authority. Slaying is a full-time job, Giles, and thanks to you, now we need another one just to eat."

"Let’s not forget he continued to get his tidy sum while you were dead, pet,” Spike said, before turning to Giles. “She doesn't have a choice, Rupert. You do. You signed up for this - you knew the risks. She didn't."

"Shut up, Spike," Giles said in distaste, glaring at him. 

"Don't speak to him like that. I  _ chose _ him. Out of everything in this giant mess that is my life, I chose  _ him.  _ So when you disrespect him, you disrespect me. Got it?" 

Giles reluctantly gave a short, tense nod. 

"And he's right. I don't have a choice. I'm stuck here 'till I die again or this place goes under. I have to live with that reality. Now," she said firmly, "are we done here?" 

Giles eyed Spike warily. "I suppose there is nothing more to be said on the matter," he said, completely avoiding answering her question. 

"I'm not saying you have to be best friends, but an attempt at civility would be nice." Spike and Giles both scoffed at the same time, then regarded the other in distaste. 

"Before you get it into your skull that staking him for my own good sounds like an excellent idea,  _ don't _ . He's family, and you've only seen a  _ little _ of what I'd be willing to do for family."

"You've made your point, I understand it would be unwise to go against you on this issue," Giles said grimly. 

"Don't loophole me on this, Giles. Tell me you comprehend what I'm telling you. I love you both, so please don't force me to choose."

Giles looked at her unblinkingly for a moment. "I understand."

 

"'M not Angelus, Watcher. Not going to hurt the girl-" Buffy flinched; she'd been hoping not to ever hear those words come out of his mouth again. If Spike noticed, he didn't say anything. "-'n if I do I'll be taking a nice long walk in Mr Sunshine."

"He's the reason you got out of the mansion in one piece, you know. We agreed that he could take Drusilla away from Sunnydale if he kept you alive, but if you died our truce was off."

"But-" blustered Giles. 

"Stopped Angelus getting right familiar with you and that chainsaw, didn't I?" 

Giles looked open-mouthed at them both. "So you had me thralled instead! She made me see  _ Jenny _ , she begged me to tell her!" 

"Yeah, sorry about that, couldn't think of another way. You shoulda seen the way Angelus was fondling that chainsaw, mate. Woulda changed your mind right quick." 

Giles regarded him suspiciously for a few moments. 

"Giles, you have all your limbs and your head. And yeah, having Jenny thrown in your face like that must've hurt, and I'm sorry, but blaming Spike for all of Angelus' wrong-doing is not the right thing to do. The  _ right _ thing to do would be to save it all up so that when Willow decides that Angel can fix all this stuff and tells him the Immortal is in Sunnydale, you can throw it in his face."

Spike snickered quietly.

Giles' face furrowed in thought. "The Captain is  _ The _ Immortal?" he asked.

Buffy smiled. "Not yet, but he will be - or might be. Dimension hopping is a tricky business. It messes with time and space."

"T-time travel?" he asked weakly. "You asked  _ The _ Immortal to come to Sunnydale for help?" 

"He had the most relevant knowledge and offered his assistance. Why would I not?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Oh," said Giles, "well, put like that…" his sentence petered out, and his whole body seemed deep in thought. "The ramifications…" he murmured to himself, turning away and searching Anya’s desk for a notepad and pen, "simply remarkable…"

Buffy had to smother a smile, it had been so long since she'd seen this - unadulterated watchery Giles. She missed him already; her having opinions he disagreed with wasn't going to convince him to stay. Hell, she’d begged him last time and it still hadn't made any difference. 

"Giles." 

He looked up from where he was rummaging through the desk, still searching for writing tools, with a ' _ hmm?'  _

"Jack likely doesn't know, and he probably won't want to look too closely into whatever information or questions you have about his future; it could end up changing too much."

 

"But! The possibilities?" Giles moaned, sounding bereft. 

"Don't be upset when he changes the subject then. For all the flirting, he's a fairly private person." She tapped the desk as a blush bloomed over Giles' face. "Blood from a stone and all that." 

Giles' eyes lit with challenge. 

"Do you really understand all the stuff about Spike?" she said, crossing her arms. 

He pursed his lips uncomfortably. "I shall think on it," he said. Then quieter, "He's not what I wanted for you. You deserve better."

"You don't want me to have someone who can physically keep up with me, can look after himself in a fight, would die for me and my family, who doesn't leave, and who is stubborn enough to make me take time enough to care for myself? Who loves Dawn and I more than unlife itself? Who looked after my little sister all summer, even though he had no idea I was ever coming back? Who isn't emasculated by me being stronger than him?" Spike coughed, and she distinctly heard him say Riley's name; Giles grinned at that, then remembered himself again and schooled his features back into his thinking-face. "Yeah, he's a bit of an asshole sometimes-" _Oi!_ Spike muttered- "and flammable, and has weird dietary requirements - and he used to be one of the bad guys, but he's trying. He hasn't had someone like Anya has in Xander. He tries despite all that. I might deserve better, and he might not deserve me, but he's the one I want. He loves me the way I want to be loved - the way I _need_ to be loved. Isn't that what you want for me?"

Giles scowled at his words being used against him, then his face smoothed into resigned irritation. "Very well, I shall…" his face scrunched up in distaste, "try to reconcile… you- and your vampire." He flapped his hand towards Spike. 

 

Buffy squeezed Giles' hand and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you." She turned to Spike with a grin. "And you - don't be a butt face to him, ok?" Spike gave an exaggerated pout, and she had to stifle a snort. "Not unless he really deserves it, ok?" 

Spike sighed in defeat; he might as well give up and just hand over his fangs now, she had his demon purring like a sodding kitten doped up on catnip. The ruddy thing had never been this happy before. Bloody Summers women, ruining a perfectly good demon. 

"He's not ruined, he's found where he belongs, as have you." Spike was startled to realise that all three of them were now out on the shop floor, him with Granny staring up into his face with amusement.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You've got the sight, don't you?" 

She quirked a slightly familiar lopsided grin which had his brain tingling in all sorts of strange directions. "Sort of, and a bit besides. Not quite sure about you though. Very peculiar indeed." She looked between him and the two Summers, both of whom were attempting to field questions from an over-exuberant Janice and thoroughly fed up Mrs Penshaw. "Your auras reach for each other. Very peculiar indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys! Please leave a comment, they are super helpful at beating the muse into submission to make more words for your enjoyment!


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